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“Fuck! Ow!” I said, my hand shooting back there to protect my skin.
“Get up. I didn’t book a day off work to sit here and argue with you.”
Ooh, he sounded pissed. I cracked an eye open. He was smiling.
“Fuck you,” I said.
He raised his eyebrows and lifted his hand.
“I’m up, I’m up. Fuck,” I said, pulling my legs around and sitting up. “You’re an asshole.”
“You knew that before you moved in here.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t know how much you liked to smack my ass back then.”
“It’s my favorite thing.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Goddammit. I need a cigarette.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Alastair,” I said patiently. “If you knew what I’ve been through with my mom, you would understand. And you would go out right now and buy me a whole pack. You’d even light it for me.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“Yes, you would.”
“You can do this, Toby. And you can do it without caving in to your smoking habit.”
“But, Alastair, I really just need one or two ciggy’s today then I’ll quit. I promise.”
“Nope. Not happening.”
I stared at him. He stared at me.
“You can’t tell me what to do.”
He sighed. “Really? You usually like it when I tell you what to do.”
“That’s different. That’s…playing. And it’s fun. But…it’smylife.”
“It is your life, and I can’t tell you not to smoke. But, Toby, if you can get through today without caving, you’ll have this thing beat.”
I mean, he had a point.
“But if you threaten to put me over your lap if I smoke a cigarette, that’s just a win-win for me.”
“Hmm. Really.”
“Yes, really.”
“Well, what if I say that every day youdon’tsmoke a cigarette, I’ll put you over my lap?”
I laughed. “And punish me for what, exactly?”
“Oh, it won’t be a punishment.”
My mouth went dry. “Huh?”
