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“Seriously, Reed has no one who can come. His roommates came to a scrimmage before the season started but not since. I don’t mean to pry, but it’s pretty unusual for the coach’s daughter not to like hockey.”
My throat feels like I have cotton mouth. So dry. I nod as I fold the order pad open, click my pen, and ask, “Are you ready to order?”
For a hot minute, I think they’ve lost the ability to speak, but then Flynn rattles off a laundry list of side items. When I return with their food, Dawes slides me a piece of paper and says, “Can you let me know if you hear from him? He’s private and would tell me to fuck off if he knew I was keeping tabs.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
They leave cash on the table when they exit. Flynn veers off in my direction. “I’ve known about you two for a while, and I never said a word, until it came out on television. If Reed doesn’t know how to act when he’s in love, it’s because he’s never been struck by the arrow. He doesn’t know you’ll be worrying about where he is or what he’s doing.” He surrounds me with his arms in an awkward embrace.
With a close-lipped half-smile, I nod and push a loose strand of hair behind my ear. My head barely moves when my voice strains to say, “Thanks. But I’m not sure if we’re still together.”
Each one of them gives me a sympathetic smile.
The house smells of garlic, basil, and oregano when I open the side door that leads into the kitchen. And sourdough bread baking is like the cherry on top. My dad is buttering me up. Hoping to calm the hurricane that he thinks I’m about to unleash.
When Caleb sees him, he runs into his arms, yelling, “Gwandad.”
“How’s my favorite dinosaur?” My dad swings him around, kissing him on the cheek.
“I don’t want to be a T-wex anymore. I’m going to be a hockey player like Weed.” Happiness dances in Caleb’s eyes. “He bought me a stick and a puck.”
I look at Dad. “It’s a play set. Not real.”
Dad crinkles one whole side of his face, but he doesn’t say the words I know he wishes he could.You wouldn’t let me get him anything hockey related.Ignoring his expression, I say, “Trying to bribe me with my favorite meal?”
“Yep, and I’m man enough to admit it. Caleb, can you put the napkins on the table?”
My son toddles around, opening the drawer where Dad keeps the napkins. Caleb counts out three and then puts them beside each plate. When my dad is with us, he’s the greatest father and grandfather. It’s all the time he’s not that I’m lonesome.
When we’re finished, Dad rents the movie that Caleb wants to see and sits him on the couch, just out of hearing distance—if we keep our voices low. We handwash the dishes and drying when I ask, “Where did Reed go?”
“I can’t tell you, but it’s something he needs to do.”
“Dad, please. Some of the team came into the café. They’re worried about him. Apparently, he’s back to his moody, broody self. The side of him I’ve rarely seen, but I have felt it a few times. He puts on a good face, but it seems like he’s standing on the edge of a diving platform, and he’s having second thoughts on jumping in the water. It doesn’t help that you’re taking away the one thing he has—hockey.”
Dad scoots closer to me and flips the hand towel over his shoulder. “Baby girl, he violated team rules for a week. If I let him get away with it, I’ll lose control of the asylum.”
He bumps my shoulder. I never thought of how it would affect my dad. I just thought about how he would react and how it would affect Reed or me.
“I think I’m in love with him,” I confess quietly, stealing a glance over my shoulder at my dad. A mixture of apprehension and excitement, over my newly realized feelings, clouds my expression “Actually, I know I am. He’s so good with Caleb.”
Dad’s voice is kind but firm as he offers his advice. "You can't base your decision to love someone solely on their love for your son. Their love for you should be the foundation. Without it, their affection for Caleb will never be genuine. And I can assure you, Reed would agree."
Regret casts a shadow over my apology. “I’m sorry Caleb and I didn't visit you after you found out. Or I didn’t return your attempts to reach out. My emotions got the best of me, as I was frustrated that you seemed to prioritize Reed's feelings over mine. However, I now comprehend that you were simply trying to instill fear in him if he hurts me.”
“You and I needed time apart. If I didn’t have that time, I probably would have violated the coach’s code of conduct by telling you everything I know about Reed.” His voice is tinged with a bit of sadness. “Don’t get me wrong. Reed is a good person who has hailed from a terrible situation.”
“He came clean. Never in a million years did I think it could be as bad as it was. He went to boarding school for heaven’s sake. It costs more than tuition at this college.”
Dad tilts his head and surrounds me with his strong arms. “Money can’t buy happiness.”
“Is he coming back?”
“I hope so.”
“If you hear from him, will you let me know?”
He shakes his head. “Just give him this time. If he doesn’t confront it now, I’m afraid he’ll never be able to fully commit to you and Caleb. If that’s what you want.”
