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The sound of music and laughter lures my attention away. Even though autumn has replaced the summer's warmth, the patio is the perfect spot for these special evenings with our friends. I was nervous about revealing that Miri was also my woman, but Kyle took the lead. Despite our unconventional relationship, I expected criticism, particularly for her. Instead, we received nothing but congratulations and acceptance.
As I watch the lively chatter around me, something feels different, there's an unusual vibe in the air. A few friends have brought their young ones, a pair of little bundles aged three months and just over a year. Miri was instantly drawn to them, even setting up a play corner filled with toys and stuffed animals. Watching her interact with them fills me with happiness. Her gestures exude a profound sweetness, radiating an unconditional love even toward those she's just met.
I observe her glowing face as she plays with them on the floor, her smile seeming to illuminate the whole room. It's clear how much she adores children and how naturally she connects with them. It's in these moments I see new desires in her eyes, some she may not even be aware of. She'd make a splendid mom.
The party's in full swing when one of the babies drifts off to sleep, and Kyle takes a seat beside me. “Everything alright?”
I can't tear my eyes away from Miri holding the baby. She's already asleep, but Miri is giving her mother’s a break, just like she always does after she finishes nursing. It's a sight that never ceases to amaze me. “Life is such a beautiful thing,” I say, my tone filled with longing.
“Uh-oh, what's got you down?”
Exhaling, I lean back in my chair, “You know, Greta and I argued for months. Not just about work or petty stuff like who should do the dishes or the grocery shopping. She always passed those tasks off to someone else, like she was too high and mighty to handle them herself.” I pause, the bitterness creeping into my voice as I recall our conversations. “I was naive enough to think that having a baby would bring us closer. When I suggested it to her, she just laughed in my face. She said it would ruin her body, and she wasn't about to spend her nights awake, changing dirty diapers.”
Kyle chuckles dryly, “Dodged a bullet there, man. Having a kid with her would've been a disaster. Not just for the baby, but for you too.”
I turn to face him. “I get that now, but back then... it was something I wanted. Still want,” I correct myself.
“I feel you,” he nods, squeezing my shoulder. “You know,” he sighs before continuing, “I spent a year trying all sorts of treatments, even experimental ones, just to give Miri a baby. When she found out, she begged me to stop. The pain in her eyes... it tore me up.” Why hadn't I heard about this before?
“Why did she want you to stop?”
“She was scared that there might be side effects. She told me that if she had to choose between having me or a baby, she'd choose me a thousand times over.” His voice wavers, “That's when I realized how deep our love runs. I couldn't live without her.”
I smile, watching as Miri hands the sleeping baby back to her mother. “I feel the same way about her,” I admit, “I'm head over heels for her.”
“I know,” he grins, taking a sip of his beer, “and she feels the same way about you, she told me.”
I freeze, taken aback. “I'm sorry, I...”
“Why are you apologizing? I'm happy for you, Dean. There's nothing wrong with being in love. Miri and I don't keep secrets from each other; we talk about everything. Our life might seem unconventional to some, but it's the only life I want.”
I nod, agreeing with him wholeheartedly. “Being with her makes me feel complete in a way I never thought possible before I met her.”
“Miri is one of a kind.” He pauses, a glint in his eyes that piques my curiosity. “Having a baby together would be the ultimate expression of our love, but it's something only you can give her.”
“Wait, what?” I sputter. Am I hearing him right?
Kyle laughs, enjoying my stunned reaction. Then he walks over, a mischievous smile playing on his lips, and lays out a plan so outrageous, it's unthinkable. It's ethically wrong, yet it's exactly what I want. The more he talks, the faster my heart beats. I can't say no because his plan could make my deepest dreams come true.
* * *
Days pass since I accepted Kyle's plan. Standing in the bathroom, holding the box in my hands, the gravity of our decision hits me. It's a bold move, a departure from tradition, but Miri's desire to be a mother is undeniable. It's a physical representation of the new stage of our lives together. It's a small step toward breaking down the walls she's built, opening us up to new possibilities and hopes. Replacing the contraceptives Miri's been taking for years is a significant gesture. It's like a silent pact, a promise to chase this dream together, even if she doesn't know it yet.
Kyle and I had a long talk about our decision to try to get Miri pregnant. I shared my concerns about how she might react, but the more we discussed it, the more I could picture Miri holding our child. I suggested swapping out her pills to help regulate her hormones, and while it's not traditional, it could bring us closer to our goal of becoming parents. I understand now what true love is. For too long, I was lost, without direction. But now, with Miri and Kyle, I've found a home.
As weeks turn into months, every day confirms this is the right choice. No matter what challenges we face in the future, we're ready to tackle them with determination and love. We'll face them as a family. Miri is my guiding light, my love, and sharing this journey with her is my ultimate desire.
Chapter Seventeen
Miriana
Ibolt upright in bed, drenched in sweat from a nightmare that seems all too eager to cling to my consciousness. This eerie sensation has been my unwelcome companion for the past few days, casting a shadow over my thoughts like an unshakeable specter. After a fitful night's sleep, I resolve to confront the dawn of a new day. A steamy shower attempts to wash away the lingering remnants of my troubling dream. The sensation of water cascading over my skin is comforting, and I try to concentrate on each droplet, hoping to dispel the ominous thoughts that gnaw at my peace of mind.
Exiting the shower, I swaddle myself in a plush towel and make a beeline for the sink. I apply my moisturizer, rubbing it into my face with gentle circular motions, a subtle attempt to reconnect with my own reality. This morning routine serves as my therapy, a method of sorting out my thoughts and readying myself to face the day's hurdles.
Upon entering the kitchen, my eyes are immediately drawn to two sticky notes left on the countertop. One is from Kyle, letting me know he'll be home late. The other is from Dean, hinting that he's left a surprise for me in the oven. A grin spreads across my face as I approach the oven, inside of which I find my breakfast, meticulously prepared. I find it so sweet when both of them cook for me, a testament of their love and care that I cannot help but adore.
I settle down at the kitchen table and start digging in, savoring the meal and the underlying sentiments from the two most important men in my life. My mind is still riddled with the remnants of the dream, but I manage to shift my focus to the love surrounding me.
