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“No—just.” I marshalled my breath. “Need a moment.”
“I love how you taste.”
That wasn’t helping. “Experience living up to your expectations, then?”
“It’s your dick, Marius. Not Space Mountain.”
“You’re the one who chose to ride it.” It was the deserved retort. But unfortunately, I was still defenceless. “I only meant—you don’t have—do you like—”
“I like it.” He swirled his tongue luxuriantly over the head of my cock. “More than like it.”
I made a sound that was the kind of sound I preferred not to make.
He glanced up again. It was an impossibly lovely angle. “I like how you’re holding yourself back for me. I like that you trust me this way.”
“Trust is not a requirement here.”
This, he flat-out ignored. “And I’ll like it even more when you let go.”
I intended to answer, but I got no further than an indrawn breath as his mouth came down over me. More confidently this time. The same vulnerable willingness, though, as if he was half-intoxicated by his own capacity to please. I let go of the bedsheets in favour of twisting my hands through my hair, letting my forearms cover my face. This shouldn’t have been so exquisite. Nor so excoriating. It shouldn’t have made me feel so fucking naked. I couldn’t tell how long I hovered fearfully on the brink of bliss, my breath rasping and my back arching, despite my best efforts atself-control. Pleasure could be such a monstrous thing, manageable when leashed. Impossible like this. When it was a gift. A gift given too freely.
Leo gave an unintelligible murmur. Then drew back and nuzzled into my leg while I panted. “It’s okay, you know,” he said teasingly, “to have what you want when it’s offered.”
Nothing worse than being shown up by your own stupid words. “Oh, fuck off.”
“You deserve to feel good.”
Well. That was worse.
And I didn’t.
Except perhaps I didn’t have a choice. Because Leo had learned. He knew I preferred tongue to lips. That depth did little for me compared to pressure. How to keep me wet and hold me tight. And that I moaned every time he did. Gasped in time with his own abbreviated breath. I came in a rush of inevitability, writhing against him, my hips snapping up, head falling back—my whole body helplessly aflame. It was terrifying how safe he made me feel.
When I didn’t deserve that either.
I collapsed on the bed like mercury from a broken thermometer. And Leo followed after me, wiping traces of me from his mouth.
“Can I?” he asked, his hand hovering close to his straining cock.
I nodded. I would probably have let him do perilously close to anything. “Not near my face.”
“Like this?”
He crawled over me, as feline as his namesake, all muscle andarousal and velveteen skin. No attempt to pin me or press himself against me: just a knee on either side of me, one palm braced above my shoulder, the fall of his shadow and the heat radiating from him.
I nodded again.
It was probably an attempt to disrupt my own ease, but I chose to close my eyes. The darkness came down, entire and unforgiving. My world became sound. The faint rustle of the covers beneath us, the slap of his hand moving upon himself, the scrape of his breath. And then an explosion of touch as I reached up to embrace him, our bodies tumbling together, him atop me, and I didn’t care—I only cared that he was there, that he was close, the sudden splash of his climax across my stomach and the wild thunder of his heart against mine. Eyes still closed, I clung to him. I clawed my nails into his back and pushed my face into his neck, tasted salt and soap and him.
I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that. Only that it was too long and not long enough, and that I was weak and pathetic and selfish and afraid.
7
I dreamed my mother was knocking on the side of the boat and calling my name. Then I woke up and it turned out my mother was knocking on the side of the boat and calling my name.
“Oh my God.” I sat bolt upright in bed. Thankfully Leo had drawn the blinds at some point last night, so I did not flash the whole towpath. “I think that’s—I’m so sorry. But that’s my mother. I have no idea what she’s doing here or how she found me.”
Leo was already climbing over me. “Why are you acting like you’re in witness protection?”
