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I finished my stew, which was maybe the best stew ever created. The hot meal seemed to defrost my body, and I took a walk around the place.
On the bed, there was a man’s set of pajamas. Beside it was a man’s t-shirt for me. The only reason I was sure it was mine was that there was a cute pair of fuzzy pink slippers with it.
“That’s one of my t-shirts,” Kaden said as he came and stood beside me. “Theystoleone of my shirts for you to sleep in.”
“I doubt it. They probably knew I like to sleep in large t-shirts.”
“Yeah, and that one is mine.”
I wasn’t sure why everyone seemed to think I had to sleep in his t-shirts. The situation was becoming slightly awkward. When we got back, I might have to tell to Soleil to stop taking them for me. For a little while, anyway. If I started running low, it would be different. It wasn’t not like it had anything to do with Kaden. His shirts just seemed exceptionally soft, and something about the comfiness lured me to sleep.
There was only one bed, and it wasn’t all that large. I glanced back at the couch, which was extraordinarily narrow, almost as if on purpose. That wasn’t the problem. I didn’t care if I had to share a bed. It was thesleepingpart that was the issue. The couch, the bed—it was all too close.
“You think we’ll hear from Hank tonight?”
Kaden glanced my way but didn’t bother answering.
Yeah, that was my guess too.
I went and poked around the kitchen, putting away the rest of the stew and trying to make myself busy. After I ran out of things to do there, I went through the bookshelf in the corner, looking for something to read, trying to pass the hours.
The hours ticked by as the sun set. The fact that there was a sun proved we weren’t anywhere even near Nowhere. Looked like we were going to be here all night.
I changed into the t-shirt, as if nothing was amiss, and then settled in by the fireplace with a book.
After a few hours, Kaden walked over. “Do you want the bed? I can crash on the floor.”
“No, it’s fine. We’ve shared a bed before without a problem.” It was less a problem now, considering we were barely speaking.
I dragged out the moment until I was ready to nod off in the chair. I got into bed, thinking if I could just close my eyes, but not sleep, I’d be okay.
I stood in waist-deep blood as a tornado blew around me. Hands grabbed at my legs, pulling themselves up as they scaled my body. My grandmother’s head broke the surface. “Why did you kill me? How could you do that to me?”
I woke up gasping for air, hoping Kaden hadn’t heard me, trying to lie still so even if he had, he might not realize what was happening with me.
My pulse raced and my chest ached like I was having a heart attack. I wasn’t sure if this new, improved body could have a heart attack, but it was doing its best to fake me out.
The only person who’d ever tried to care for me, love me, and I’d killed her. Yes, she might have made some mistakes, but I’dkilledher.
“What is it?” Kaden said.
“Huh?” I said, then faked a yawn, as if he’d woken me.
“You just woke up from something disturbing. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” My voice was ragged. I knew I’d just given myself up. I turned on my side away from him.
“I’ve heard you wake before. Is it your grandmother?”
It was my grandmother, it was the weeks at Herrick’s, thinking I was going to rot away, lying there day after day, barely existing. I wanted to talk about none of it. It was bad enough I relived it every night.
Did everyone in that damned fortress hear me? What was the point in living in a huge castle, carved out of a mountain, if it was like living in a one-room cabin like this?
“I’m fine.”
“It’s understandable,” he said, as if I’d fessed up to it.
No, it wasn’t understandable. There was nothing normal or understandable about any of this. I’d sat at Herrick’s for weeks and not been able to do a thing. I’d practiced with Kaden for weeks prior, and been useless. The moment I’d been able to do anything, I’d used it against my grandmother, as if I’dwantedto kill her.
