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“Oh, really? That’s good. How long do you think you’ll be?” I asked.
“I should be back by tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to come?” I said, inching slightly closer.
He took a step toward me. “It’s better if you don’t. I’ll get in and out quicker by myself.”
I made myself move toward the door but seemed to have trouble leaving. “Okay, have a safe trip.”
He walked closer, grabbed my arm, and tugged me to him, kissing me.
I didn’t try to stop him.
“I thought I heard someone coming up the steps,” he said, letting me go.
“Yeah, good call.” I hadn’t heard a thing.
I backed out of the room before I lost my shit completely and grabbed him, begging him not to go and making a fool of myself. I didn’t know why the idea of his leaving again rattled me so badly, but the second he’d said he was, it was as if I’d discovered all sorts of hairline cracks in my hard resolve. It was probably just because things had gone so badly last time he left. This time would be different. I’d just keep reminding myself of that until he returned.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Cookie was in my room the next morning before I was even out of bed.
“Kaden back yet?” I asked.
“Not yet.” She squeezed in next to me.
“Is that tea? Can I have a sip?” I’d woken more times last night than I could count. I’d begun to think the nightmares had eased, but I guess not. I was going to need a barrel of tea to stay awake today.
She looked down at the mug she was sipping and then handed it to me. “Yeah, it’s actually yours anyways. Luisca sent it up with me. I already had three while I was waiting for you.”
In normal times, in a normal world, that might’ve annoyed someone. Instead, her taking the liberty of drinking my tea gave me a strange sense of comfort, especially considering what might be coming. Taking my tea wouldn’t be anything compared to taking a bullet for each other in the days to come.
“I’m glad you’re here, even if it’s just for a short while.” Somewhere I could see her and know without a doubt that she was safe. I still had to worry about Dice and Connor, but it was one less worry. As far as Soleil and the rest of the staff, I couldn’t think about them in the same place with that monster.
“Did I see you sitting on Kaden’s lap when I walked in last night? Are you two together now? I feel like I missed something.”
I took a few long sips, trying to garner the strength for the details of what my situation had become. “Things have been getting a little messy and weird. What we were doing last night? It’s all fake. It’s an act.”
“You’re telling me what I saw was an act? The way you can’t stop staring at each other is an act? No way. You don’t act that well.” She laughed.
“I mean, he’s attractive, and then there is something to this mating thing. But it’s mostly just an act.” I might as well have doused myself in gasoline and taken a match to my cheeks. I should just paint my face red at this point.
“Mostly?” she said. She raised one brow so high she had to have practiced the move in a mirror.
“Things were getting a little intimate between us, but it didn’t go that far.”
“Why not? Who stopped?” She was hanging on every word.
“I asked if there might be any consequences to continuing, as far as being unable to undo the mating bond. That brought him to his senses like someone had dumped a vat of ice on him.” I got up, getting my clothes out for the day. Sitting in the bed, or the scene of the crime, was a little too much.
“You keep talking about Kaden as if life happens to him. That’s not the person he is. He makes his own choices,” she said. “I’m going to give you a little backstory, because sometimes shit just has to be said. Remember that fight he had with Antoinette after she found out he marked you? Well, there’s been a steady line of chicks just like her, begging him to do the same for a very long time, because they hoped to end up in the spot you are now. But he’d never do it.”
I folded some other things, doing busywork because Cookie wasn’t going to stop until she got out whatever it was she felt she had to be said.
“Then you come along, you don’t even know about marking someone or what advantage it would give, and he does it.”
I sighed and put down my stuff to give her my full attention. “It’s different. With me it was guilt.”
