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“Blanca must have formed some kind of tie to Groza. I can’t see another cause for her to do this.” Kicks’ voice was soft, as if he were musing aloud.
“The only way Groza will leave me alone is if I’m dead.” Even leaving hadn’t seemed to stop her. The realization felt like a weight that was nearly too heavy to bear pressing down on me.
“Or she is,” he said, tensing his arm around me. “The way I see it, you either have to kill her or take yourself off the table.”
I felt myself beginning to tense as well. “Groza might not be my alpha, but a lot of those people, they’re my pack. They look to me for comfort. They’d never forgive me.”
“They won’t be your pack if you’re dead.” His voice softened, as if he hadn’t wanted to say the words. His hand began to run along my back again. “The smoothest way to become a member of my pack is if you become my mate. They’ll accept that easier. It might be your only choice. Groza is going to call you out for what happened, evidence or not. She’s going to force your hand, but she can’t do that if we’re mated.”
“Why not?” I tiled my head back, watching him.
“Because a mate to an alpha is considered untouchable. She’d have to have hard proof you did anything, and she can’t get that. I made sure of it.”
“Plus you’d get a guide for your pack.” There might have been the barest hint of bitterness in my statement.
Our gazes locked, and I broke eye contact first. Somehow it was easier to lie like this against him if we weren’t looking at each other. Then I couldn’t seem to stop myself from looking at his mouth. He shifted underneath me, as if I weren’t alone in the awareness.
“Yes, I’d get a guide for my pack. It’s not the worst deal there is. It would give Charlie stability in a pack that isn’t trying to kill the only parent he has. Mothers have married for less.”
But they’d definitely married for more, like love—not that that seemed to count at all.
“Are there divorces—like, in a year or two, could we go our own ways?”
“There’s been separations, but I’m not open to that.” His arm tightened around me.
“Because you’d lose your guide. You want me to agree to this like it was an actual mating or marriage?”
“Yes. I think it’s better for the stability of the pack, and I don’t believe in marrying more than once.”
I never would’ve pegged Kicks as the old-fashioned type, but there it was.
“But what if I want… I don’t know––more?”
“I can offermore, if that’s what you mean. We’re attracted to each other, and I’m not comfortable with you stepping out of the marriage.”
That hadn’t been themoreI was referring to, but I guessed it didn’t hurt to know I wasn’t signing up for none of the benefits.
“I need to think about it.”
“I don’t see that you have a lot of options.”
“Well, I need to think about it anyway. I’d never really daydreamed of a proposal that was ‘marry me so you don’t have to murder someone.’”
“Lots of things have happened that we never dreamed of.”
“Why are you even back? You were supposed to be gone for days.”
“From the moment I left, I had a bad feeling I couldn’t shake. When I get a gut check like that, I don’t ignore it. I’m getting that feeling about your situation. You’ve got to make a move—if not for you, then so you’re around for Charlie.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Kicks leanedhis shoulder on the doorframe of my suite. “You’re sure you want to go back today?”
It was the first time we’d been alone since the aftermath of the incident. I’d seen him at meals, but other than that, he’d been missing. I didn’t know if he was out searching for Blanca, who had completely disappeared, or if he was giving me some space to think.
“I’ve been here three days. If I don’t go back, everyone will think I’m not coming back.”
“And that’s bad because…?” He grinned.
