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She shrugged, not seeming overly put out at my act. She didn’t need it confirmed. Sheknew.
“Fine. You can keep your secrets. I understand why you would,” she said, continuing along in her calm manner.
Everything was controlled about this woman, and in a way that was enviable. It was hard not to wonder what it would take to rattle her.
I continued to walk with her, not saying anything. It was clear she was the one holding all the information anyway, and I was playing catchup. I wasn’t going to add to the imbalance by giving her anything else.
“I don’t need you to admit you know what they are, but you should understand who you’re helping. You should be aware of a few things. The people you’re with, they destroyed a clinic with humans who were trying to help the human race. They killed everyone on the grounds.” She looked at me, waiting for something.
I’d suspected Groza killed everyone, but now here it was, confirmed. She might be lying, but I didn’t think so. Truth was, I hadn’twantedto know. Still, portraying the people at the clinic as total innocents was a stretch, and it didn’t make Lola a saint just because she once again had too many details.
“I’ve heard of the clinic you’re talking about. Are you so sure they were paragons of virtue? Did you know them?”
“I did know them.” She looked off into the distance. “I know why you might be skeptical, but their motivations weren’t quiteas obvious as they might’ve seemed. They felt what they did was justified.”
“Really? You think trying to poison people is justified?” I glanced over my shoulder, wondering how Kicks was taking all of this in.
He was leaning on his bike, watching like a hawk but not moving. He didn’t look angry, either. More confused. I gave him a quick smile, wanting to keep him right where he was until she finished talking.
“You don’t think being a part of the near-extinction of humankind doesn’t deserve some retribution? Or did you not realize that they were involved in Death Day?”
“You’re saying that they had something to do with killing off most of the world? That’s not possible.” Even as I was speaking, I could imagine Groza being involved. But they’d lost so many too. No, it couldn’t be all of them.
“I’m saying some of them, in connection with others, were involved. Are there some blameless? Maybe. That I can’t say. But I know for a certainty that there was involvement.”
“Who are you?Whatare you? Why are you even speaking to me?” I glanced again at Kicks, who was still watching but not making any gestures or movements that seemed out of place.
“We’ll leave my details alone for now. I’ve given you enough to think about. As to why I’m talking to you? I think you can figure that out already,” she said, calm while my world was getting toppled.
Had I looked for salvation from the very people who had destroyed the world?
“I’m no one’s spy, if that’s what you mean.” I’d never be able to live with people, pretend to like them, while planning on betraying them. I’d take Charlie and leave first.
“Then don’t be, but keep your eyes and ears open. There might come a point when that information will be useful.” Shehanded me a bag. “Here are the mushrooms. They’ll want to know what I said. What you tell them is your choice, but as a reciprocation for the trust I’ve placed in you, I’d prefer you didn’t. I’m sure we’ll see each other again at some point.” She turned and walked away from me, back toward the community house.
I cut a line toward Kicks, taking him in like I’d never seen him before. Had he been in on it? Had he known? I couldn’t reconcile the man I knew with someone who would let that happen, or worse, be involved.
But Groza…
“You all right? What did she want?”
“You didn’t hear?” How was that possible? Was he testing me?
“I kept catching this buzzing noise. Couldn’t make out a damn thing.” He looked around as if trying to place the source of the annoyance.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I said. “Let’s talk after we get out of here.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I spentthe entire ride back to the hotel replaying Lola’s words. Nothing was adding up. The shifters had lost people as well. Not as many, but still, was it possible they’d sacrificed some of their own to do this? To get rid of humans? I couldn’t imagine Kicks sacrificing even one of his people. Duncan? I would’ve said no a few months ago, but now I wasn’t so sure. He seemed to be able to twist his brain in all sorts of ways to justify what he wanted to do. I’d been so sure about Duncan and had been wrong. How could I be sure about Kicks? Or anyone, for that matter?
Then I thought of Groza. She wouldn’t hesitate to kill the majority of humans, no matter what the cost.
We pulled up outside the hotel, and I still had no idea what I was going to say to Kicks, but it wasn’t going to be the full truth. Until there was no doubt where his loyalties lay, without even the tiniest sliver of a doubt, I wasn’t saying anything. I was certain that if my conversation with Lola came out, Groza would kill her, her sisters, and the entire community there. She’d taken out the clinic without blinking. I wouldn’t have those deaths on my hands. They were already bloodier than I’d ever imagined they’d be.
I got off the bike, heading inside, already strung tight, knowing the evading I’d have to do. I wasn’t trained in interrogation, and my chances of holding up to questioning weren’t good. I’d spent the beginning of my life flip-flopping all over the place on what I wanted to do. Not once had being a spy or double agent entered my mind.
Kicks followed me inside, pointing in the direction of the kitchen.“There’s bags in there where we can divide them,” he said, motioning to the mushrooms.
