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“Absolutely.” I saluted him with my glass and forced a swallow. “I’ll just finish the job and see what I can find out about my daughter.”
He almost choked on his brandy, but caught himself, swallowing hard. “Best of luck,” he said in his usual mild tone. But there was a fear in his eyes that I didn’t understand.
***
After my detour, I was a little calmer, but my head was full of questions, suspicions, and the need to get home to my daughter.
Ihated leaving her alone, the thought of leaving my daughter unprotected sickened me. But what choicedid I have? If I had used a sitter or a daycare, there would be witnesses to my suddenly having a child in my care. That would have gotten straight back to Vasily. And Iwas certain that would be a bad idea. Thank God nothing had happened yet. But I was suddenly wondering how long I could keep this up, security cameras and alerts were all well and good, but that traumatized little girl needed human company.
But I couldn’t stay home and still do my job. I knew what I had to do, I just didn’t know how I was going to explain it to Alissa or Vasily, if it got back to him. Which always seemed to happen. But my honor, my conscience, and the knowledge that this was my child wouldn’t let me do any less.
Not even if it went against the bratva. Which had allowed Alissa to be hurt so deeply, to go through so much.
I would deal with Vasily, his strange reactions tonight, and what I was going to tell him later on, once this was all over. Right now, my duty was to my daughter and her mother.
What was I going to tell Alissa? I felt that stab of guilt again, wishing I could be completely honest instead of building a collage for her out of chunks of truth pasted together with bullshit. In an ideal world, I would have. But we had to live in this one. I also worried about what Michelle would tell her mother, my little girl was too scared to speak, but she clearly understood everything. What if she told Alissa she’dbeen staying at mine for a few days? Would she understand the passing of time? Maybe I could just tell her it was a night or a few hours.Fuck. I had always prided myself on being calm in any situation, but I seemed to be fighting a losing battle here. The sooner Michelle was returned to her mother the better.
I took the stairs two at a time to my door to burn off some energy, I didn’t want to burst in and scare my daughter. I had always tried to be quieter with her, calmer, gentler, because she was a kid, and I was a foreboding-looking giant. Now, though, it seemed even more important.
I unlocked the door and went in, closing it carefully and looking around. Michelle looked up from her coloring. She seemed contented, and everything was as I’d left it. Until I noticed broken glass glittering in a pool of water on the kitchen tiles.
“Uh-oh.” I hurried over. She had clearly dropped her glass while trying to get more water, my heart was racing at the thought of what could have happened. My broom lay against the counter nearby. She knew what she should do but not how to do it.
I went to check on her. “Michelle?” I squatted next to her. She was calm, even smiling a little to see me now, and there were no signs of cuts on her. “I saw you dropped a glass. Are you hurt?”
She shook her head.
Holy shit. Okay. I was definitely making the right decision getting her back to her mom tonight.The relief felt like someone had just released a band across my chest.“Okay, sweetheart. Now, you listen to Da—” I had almost said Daddy. Shit. Shewasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready for it either, clearly. “Listen to me carefully, all right?”
She nodded, staring intently at me.
“If you drop something and it breaks, don’t try to clean it up yourself. Don’t touch it. Get me or your mom. Okay?”
She perked up at the mention of her mother. But then went back to her thoughtful look, and nodded.
“Okay, good. Glass is sharp when it breaks. It can cut you really easily.” At least she was wearing her shoes. “Do you understand?”
She nodded.
“Good girl.”
I wanted to hug her, tell her I was her dad and I was sorry I wasn’t very good at it. But that was a stupid idea. I didn’t have the right, and it was way too early to do anything like that.
But it was past time to do something else that everyone needed.
She saw the conflict on my face and started patting me again.
I caught her hand and gave her a squeeze. “I’m okay. I’m just trying to figure out how much to tell your mom once we see her.”
That hopeful look again. She might have remembered things that had made her voice go silent, but she also remembered her mom. “Do you think you can speak to her if I call her on the phone?” I asked. I didn’t know what would do the trick, but I had to start trying.
She thought about it. But then she pressed her lips together, and her chin started trembling. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head violently, looking like she was about to start crying.
I put my hands on her little bird shoulders. “It’s okay,” I told her. “It’s okay, if you can’t yet, that’s fine. I know she just really wants to see you and know you’re safe.” I should have done this two days ago.But now I absolutely had to, and it was almost a relief. The choice was out of my hands.
I just hoped I was doing the right thing for everyone. It felt that way, but this situation was so strange and new to me that I couldn’t tell. I had already made one mistake with Michelle. I would not permit myself another.
“All right, sweetheart. I’m gonna call your mama now. I’m going to try to get her here tonight.”
