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My heart constricted at the mention of her. My breath hitched, one hand flying to the half heart charm around my neck.
Raleigh gave a small, sad smile. “That’s right, baby. We light it to remember that she is always with us, and that her light never leaves us.”
As I pulled in a shuddering breath, Raleigh struck the match on a piece of rough paper glued to the jar’s lid. The end sparked to life, the instant fire burning bright.
Hailey’s eyes widened and her lips narrowed in concentration as Raleigh carefully transferred the match to her tiny hands. The match was long enough that the flame wasn’t anywhere near her fingers, and Hailey carefully turned toward the candle.
Roman’s hand hovered under his daughter’s, but he didn’t touch her as she focused on the candle. Her tongue peeked out from between her lips as she brought the tip of the match to the wick. When the candle caught, Hailey’s face lit up with triumph.
Roman took the match from her the instant she achieved her goal and blew it out.
There was a long moment of silence as the candle glowed. I stared at the bright, burning flame as it swayed and flickered.
As I stared at the candle, a feeling crashed into me—hitting me square in the chest and taking my breath away. A presence I hadn’t felt for a very long time washed over me, so familiar and warm, I almost burst into tears right there at the table.
It felt like Thea. If I didn’t know better, I could’ve sworn I smelled her perfume. It was as if, for a brief amazing moment, that this dinner was like all the others. It was like she was right there with me, sitting at my side.
A large lump formed in my throat, threatening to choke me. The room spun, and I realized I’d been holding my breath. I opened my mouth and sucked in air, feeling as if I were on the edge of completely falling apart. Because no matter how vividly I felt Thea’s presence, she wasn’t here. She would never be here again.
As I began to spiral, someone grabbed my free hand. It was a comforting, strong embrace that I clung to. I didn’t need to see him to know that it was Reid. I opened my palm and our fingers entwined with each other’s. I squeezed tight, instantly feeling grounded. It was as if he were a lightning rod, taking all those whirling emotions in my body and sending them straight back down to the earth.
I caught my breath, concentrating hard on Reid’s steady hand tangled with mine. The room became solid again as I oriented myself and my emotions. Warner was saying grace, already blessing the food.
Automatically, I bowed my head, breaking my trance on the candle that represented the spirit of my best friend.
When Warner finished his prayer, the room became alive with movement and conversation. People filled their plates with food and Hailey’s little voice already asked what was for dessert.
Reid’s hand never left mine, even as he filled both of our plates from the dishes of food being passed around the table.
He leaned in close, the heat of his body enveloping me. “You okay?” he asked in a low, rumbling whisper.
I glanced at the food that he put on my plate, then at the candle one last time before meeting his face. Those vibrantly green eyes glowed in the candlelight.
“Yes.” I nodded. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting…”
His hand squeezed mine. “I know.”
There was nothing but utter understanding in those two words, and I had never felt so wholly understood.
Our gazes held onto each other for a few beats longer before Reid nodded toward my plate. “Eat. I promise it’s freaking delicious.”
That coaxed an actual smile from me. I had no doubt it was. I picked up my fork, speared a piece of potato, and popped it in my mouth. My eyes fluttered closed as I stifled a groan. It was absolutely scrumptious.
As we ate, and the conversation flowed between the family, I glanced down at my fingers threaded between Reid’s. He hadn’t attempted to let go, and neither had I. A warmth pooled low in my stomach as an inkling of truth unfurled within me.
My heart quickened, beating against my ribs. This time, it had nothing to do with grief or sadness.
It had to do with Reid.
I was starting to feel something for him—something I’d never felt before. Part of me, the rational part of me, knew that I shouldn’t have feelings for my best friend’s big brother. He’d known me through almost every stage of my life. We’d grown up with each other, barely two years apart in age. I’ve never seen him as anything but Thea’s brother.
But as his hand warmed mine, my heart yearned for something more. And I wondered whether I really had a choice in the matter at all.
15
Reid
I was touching her too much, but I couldn’t make myself stop.
