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Roar stared at me, unblinking. “Warmly? That’s all? Even though you know I can protect you?” He gripped my hand. “How I can care for you as few others can?”
“Yes.” I paused, a little startled by the insistence in his eyes. “I agreed to this so that I’d be safe far from the Blood Court. I don’t know—”
“But would it be so bad if you didn’t leave Winter’s Realm? If you stayed?” Roar gripped my hand tighter, as if trying to squeeze his own thoughts and feelings into me. “You’ve seen Guldtown and glimpsed a fraction of my army. I’ll keep you safe, Neve. Together, you and I, we could be unstoppable. We could change the kingdom for the better.”
Unstoppable against what? The question flitted through my mind, but, really, it wasn’t important. For me, sticking to my beliefs and goals and being true to myself was the most important. Not only did I crave freedom, but I could not give into romantic frivolity when so much was on the line. Not for anything less than true love—or even, if I dared to hope, my soulmate.
Plus, Anna counted on me. Her image filled my mind, breaking my heart. Stars, I missed her. And only I could save her, free her. It wouldn’t happen today or tomorrow. It might not happen for many moons, but I’d do it if it was the last thing I ever did.
Gently, I retracted my hand. “I’m sorry, Roar. I can’t.”
His lips tightened. “Very well. I think I’ll take a walk around the grounds.”
Without another word, the Warden of the West exited our chambers.
Chapter 24
Roar wasn’t in our suite when I rose to eat breakfast, or perhaps more aptly, lunch, as it was nearing midday.
Although his absence made me worry that I’d wounded him, a part of me also felt glad to put off any serious conversation between us. Though I hadn’t felt drunk, or even tipsy, when I returned to our suite the night before, drinking Dragon Fire had resulted in me tossing and turning all night and given me a pounding headache. Lesson learned. I should have eaten at least twice the amount of dinner I’d inhaled. Or better yet, not allowed Sayyida to pressure me into overindulgence.
“Juice?” Clemencia asked, just above a whisper.
I’d admitted I felt poorly, and while she was acting sweet and spoke softly while I tried to eat, my lady-in-waiting also looked anxious. Our first full day in the capital had come. The Courting Festival would not officially start until tomorrow, but others would expect me to make an appearance around the castle.
Would the warden be with me? I fingered the golden vial of his blood that I’d tucked into the pockets of my lounging trousers. Normally, I didn’t carry it around with me—it was blood, and I found that far too reminiscent of something the vampires would have done—but today I’d plucked it from its hiding spot in the bottom of my sewing basket. Perhaps I feared that after denying him, Roar would go back on our deal, but the vial helped to remind me of why he would not.
Crippling pain. No one wanted that.
Plus, he might be upset, but we were still in this together. We’d already lied to the king, a punishable offense, and now we had to see our charade through.
“Yes, please.” I nodded to my empty juice glass.
“The more you eat, the better off you’ll be.” With a warm smile, Clemencia filled the glass and nudged my plate, which I’d been picking at since it arrived.
Taking her advice, I continued to eat slowly, and with each bite, I did indeed feel a little better. I’d managed to eat most of the food on my plate before someone knocked.
“Oh, stars.” I groaned. “If it’s Princess Saga, or worse, Lady Sayyida, do not let them in.”
Clemencia shot me a look that plainly said she would do no such thing. As it turned out, my worry proved unfounded. At the door stood a servant bearing a letter. “For Lord Lisika and Lady Neve.”
“Thank you.” Clemencia shut the door. She turned and looked around, as if expecting to see Roar materialize.
“I’ll take it.” I reached for the message.
Clemencia furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you sure?” I didn’t take offense to Clemencia’s question. In matters pertaining to court, I always deferred to Roar. But he wasn’t here, and I wanted to know what the letter said.
“The messenger said my name too.”
“Of course.” She handed the missive to me.
I opened it, scanned the first line. “There’s a tourney today! Very soon, in fact.” My eyes traveled down the page and when I hit a certain name, my mouth fell open. “And guess who entered?”
Clemencia swallowed. “Lord Lisika?”
“In archery and swords.And it starts quite soon, so that has to be where he’s at now.” The question of where he’d been all night remained a mystery, but not one I cared about at the moment.
I stood and braced myself for a wave of nausea. Thankfully, it was far weaker than I’d anticipated. Good, that gave me hope for the day. “I need to dress.”
