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I put my hand over his mouth.
“I don’t even enjoy the word fluffy.”
He gripped my wrist and then twisted us, so I was flat beneath him.
“Kiss me.”
My lips parted as I searched his face. He’d asked me the same thing that day three months ago, and it felt like a firecracker had been shoved under my veins then, but now it was…worse so much worse.
I turned my face away from him.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
His grip moved to catch my chin. “Why not?”
The words burned my lips, branded them as a silent vow. I didn’t want to let them free.
“Tell me,” he whispered, lowering his head to place a kiss on my stomach.
“Earlier when you said I cared…”
“And you lied.” He interrupted with a smirk.
My lips spread into a smile. “Yes, I lied…but Killian, I think I care too much. I think I’m falling in?—”
His mouth crashed against mine, cutting off my words. I knew he didn’t want to hear them, that or he just simply couldn’t.
My fingers came up, spearing a path through his hair, until I was holding the back of his head and pulling him impossibly closer.
He made a sound and moved his hands up my back. My tank top was lifted over my head, and then his hands moved to my shorts.
I was breathing so hard, merely from the idea of being with him. My fear was like a knife point against my heart, but with his lips moving against mine, I ignored it.
“We don’t have to fuck. I just want to taste you.” He pressed a kiss to my stomach again. “Feel you.”
Frustration wound through me. I wanted to go all the way with him, to finally seal this and ruin whatever we were. The sooner we did it, the faster we could close the lid on this and end it. Distance would be the only way to fall out of love with him, and to get that, we need to do this. Just once and we’d both be cured.
“I’m clean,” I whispered to the dark room, illuminated only by the laptop screen, “and on birth control.”
His head slowly left my stomach, that green gaze on me, heavy and full of need.
“Think fucking you will only make me fall harder, Daisy. I’m barely hanging on the ledge as it is.”
For some reason that punched at my pride, like letting the air out of a sail.
“So why are you in my bed, Killian? If you’re so afraid of falling for me, then leave.”
I tried to pull away, but he kept me exactly where I was, pinned underneath him.
“I’m not afraid of falling, Daisy. I’m afraid of who I’ll become if I lose that part of myself to you. Because it’s all or nothing. I’d keep nothing of myself for me. You’d own it all.”
I was incredulous. “Why do you think I told you I didn’t want to kiss? You just bypassed my boundaries, regardless of how I was afraid. Why should I care about yours?”
His stare was so intent, I nearly cried. I hated revealing that to him. Offering him a scrap of my fears, my worries that he’d just disregarded them.
“You want to bypass my boundaries and fuck me, Daisy?” He rolled over and shoved his boxers down, revealing his hard length. “Then come climb on.”
This was too reminiscent of the night in that truck. I didn’t have all the details back, but I knew I had made a fool of myself.
