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“Hey, I’ve been lookin’ for you, where did ya get to?” Leonard blocks my path holding two glasses of punch.
“Outta my way.” I shove him aside and continue marching toward Garrett.
“Savannah, you okay?” Maisie stops dancing when she notices how furious I am.
“Garrett, give me your truck keys.”
“Why, is it the kids?” He immediately looks worried.
“No, the kids are fine, just give me the keys.” I hold out my hand.
“Was this him?” his head gestures behind me toward Leonard.
“No, it wasn’t him, just give me your damn keys.” Tears of hurt and frustration are starting to burn the back of my eyes.
“Garrett, give her the keys,” Maisie instructs him when she notices how serious I am. “Are you okay?” She grabs both my hands, looking concerned.
“I’m fine, I just wanna get out of here.”
“Does this have something to do with Cole showing up?” Garrett asks, taking his keys out of his pocket.
“Cole, Cole was here?” Maisie looks confused.
“Yeah, he was here and now I need to leave.” I snatch the keys from Garrett’s hand.
“I’ll have someone from the bunkhouse be on standby to pick you up when you're ready.” I rush out of there before they ask me any more questions or try to talk me out of what I’m about to do.
She’s mad at me, and she has every reason to be. Everyone was right. I should have stayed at home. I should never have let my emotions take over and gone to that stupid dance. Savannah can be as mad with me as she wants to be, but I can guarantee that she ain’t as mad as I am with myself.
I head straight round the back of the Long Camp cabin to the outdoor shower when I get back.
The cabin out here has basic facilities and usually, I’d put on the generator to warm the water up a little, but I don’t have time for that right now. I’ll take a cold shower because the scratch from her nails is itching the back of my neck as a reminder of what a cunt I am. What I did was cruel. I gave her more false hope and despite what Garrett and Wade say, I know I can’t stay around here any longer. It’s time for me to pack up my shit and get away, not just from the ranch, but from Fork River too.
I frantically scrub the scent of her off my skin, slamming my fist against the cabin wall as the cold water falls over my eyes, and when I hear a truck pull up out front and headlights light up the side of the cabin. I figure Wade or Garrett have heard all about what happened and have come out here to give me another fuckin’ lecture.
“I’m in the shower,” I call out to whoever it is, and when Savannah comes at me I stand naked, soaked, and stunned as her hand swipes my cheek.
“You selfish bastard,” she manages through her tears, and seeing her hurting while knowing I’m the cause, hurts like hell.
“You can’t keep doing this.” She slams her fists into my chest over and over. “You can’t keep…” Her sobs take over and watching her fall apart makes the cold water falling on my skin feel like needles.
“I know,” I tell her weakly, allowing her hits to keep on coming.
“I love you and I know you love me, Cole. You can try to hide it but I know you do.” Her voice quivers, and I don’t know if it’s from all her emotion or from the cold water that she’s now standing under too.
I grab her wrists and hold her steady.
“I know.” I man up and look her straight in her beautiful eyes, wishing I had a cure to save us both from the curse of it.
“Then why can’t you just—” Her lips shiver from the cold, her hair is soaking, and her body shakes from the wet clothes that stick to her skin.
“I’m sorry.” I wrap her up in my arms and pull her close, holding her tight and trying to keep her warm.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat over and over as I kiss the top of her head, silently praying for some fuckin’ answers. I want this woman. I feel like I need her more than I need my next breath, but how can I ruin her life by binding her to mine?
I’m a disease, I destroy everything that's good and I don’t deserve to have this beautiful woman crying over me.
“Please, Cole.” She pulls back her head so she can look up at me, and the desperation in her eyes puts a stake right through my heart. “I’m here. Despite everything, I’m fucking here. Can’t you see that I won’t give up on you,” she explains as I wipethe mascara from under her eyes and think about the mess I’ve caused.
