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“No, wasn’t our place to. I burned what evidence there was, but you should have come to me and told me. What did he have ya do for him?” Garrett asks him straight.
“Nothing major, I just turn a blind eye now and again. Same kinda thing I do for you folk,” he points out.
“What you’re sayin’ is that we ain’t much better?” Wade tests him.
“That's not what I’m saying at all. I had no choice in doing what I did for Mason, my hands were tied. I do what I do for you because I believe in your cause. I know you wanna make this town a better place. You’re good people, and you have my vote, Garrett, no matter who you’re runnin’ against.” He smiles as he reaches into his patroller window, lifting out aVote Carsonpin to fix on his tie.
“Appreciated.” Garrett nods before we pile inside the truck and head for home.
The atmosphere is still frosty when I walk through the door. Leia and Maisie haven’t spoken to me since they found out that I packed Savannah off on a plane back to LA behind everyone’s back, and although I know what I’m getting is thoroughly deserved, it’s tough.
I get that I’m bringing the mood down around here, and now that the Masons’ funeral is over and done with, I head straight for my room and start to pack up my shit.
I’ve been thinking about leavin’ ever since I sent Savannah back home. Now it feels like my only option. I can’t keep what I did to Mom from my brothers any longer. My nightmares are gettin’ worse, the weight of guilt is crushing me, and I’d rather them hate me than have to lie to their faces for another day.
I zip up the bag and fling it over my shoulder when I’m done, heading down the stairs and dumping it by the office door before I enter.
“Just in time for a drink. We’ve opened the good shit to toast Mason off to Hell.” Wade pours for me and hands it over, while Garrett looks at me as if he senses something’s comin’.
“What’s up?” he asks, pulling no punches and proving that he can read me better than anyone.
“I need to talk to ya both about somethin’.” I down the drink in one and slam the glass on the desk. Then pulling out the letter that I wrote a few days ago from my jacket, I place it down next to it.
“What the fuck’s that?” Wade asks.
“It’s something I wrote up for you to give to Miles. I checked online and used all the fancy words that will make it legal.”
“What ya talkin’ about legal?” Garrett rips up the letter and tears in open. His eyes dance over my scruffy handwriting while Wade stares at him and waits for him to clue him in.
“The fuck is this, Cole?” Garrett looks up at me, and I can just about make out his devastation through the anger in his eyes.
“This is me giving my share of this place equally between ya,” I confirm what I’m pretty sure he’s already figured.
“No.” Wade shakes his head. “Why would you do that?”
“Because when I tell you what I’ve been keepin’ from ya, I’m damn sure you ain’t gonna want me around no more.” I close my eyes and take a breath. Seeinghernasty smirk in my head has the poison inside my veins burning a little hotter.
“Don’t talk crazy, Cole, we’re all mad at ya for what you did to Savannah but you’re our bro?—”
“I killed Mom.” I force the words out because I can’t hold on to ‘em any longer. And the silence is deafenin’. Garrett sinks his ass into his chair while Wade turns pale and shakes his head in disbelief.
“When?” Garrett slides a hand through his hair and grips it tight.
“The night we all decided to let her live,” I explain, sniffling back tears and realizing there’s no going back from this. Of all the things in my life I’ve lost, I never imagined I would ever lose them. “I followed her out onto the pastures after you left and I shot her,” I admit, feeling the pressure in my chest lift but the strain of my conscience pull tighter.
My brothers say nothing while they process what I’m telling ‘em. Neither of them can even look at me.
“We agreed.” The hurt in Wade’s eyes is too much to bear when he focuses them back on me, and this time it’s me that has to look away.
“I know.” I stroke my hand through my stubble.
“No, you don’t fuckin’ know, Cole. You don’t know shit, because you went ahead and did it. We always make our decisions together. That’s what makes us strong.” I’ve disappointed my younger brother many times in his life, but I’ve never seen him look at me the way he is now.
“I couldn’t let her walk away, Wade. I couldn’t let the threat of her be looming out there, not after what she did. I did it for our family.”
“Don’t.” Wade points his finger at me furiously. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare say that you did this for us. You did this because you hated her. You did this because that’s who you are, and you can’t let anything fuckin’ go.”
“Yeah,” I agree with him. “I wanted her dead before she even came back. I hated her for what she did to this family. I hated her for what she did to me, I hated her for missing Brianna's first day at school, and for all the times you’d ask me when she was coming home. I hated her for coming back here twenty years later and making me actually believe that she’d changed. And then she took my niece away. She was gonna take that little girlaway from her family for her own selfish needs. We might never have seen her again. Can you imagine what that would have been like for Maisie?” I turn my attention to Garrett, who’s staring at his desk looking like he’s ready to erupt. “Can you imagine how she’d be feeling, waking up every day and knowing her little girl was out there growing up and that she was missing it all? No, you can’t, because it hurts ya too bad. It hurts because you know Maisie is a real Mom, one who loves and cares about her babies. She would have cried for that little girl every day and grieved for her like she was dead. Same way we’re all gonna have to grieve for Dalton.”
