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Garrett closes his eyes like he can’t bear to hear the words coming outta my mouth.
“I made a decision to never let that woman hurt us again, and I made the choice to be the one who carried that burden. You can hate me for it, just so long as you know that I did it outta my love for you not just my hate for her.” I turn my back and head for the door, picking up my bag and tossing it over my shoulder.
“Get your ass back here.” Garrett slams his fist on his desk, and it makes me stop and turn around.
“You don’t get to walk out of that door, Cole. You don’t get to hand us a piece of paper and tell us you're done with this family. That’s not how it works!” he yells at me.
“So how does it work? I killed our mom,” I remind him of the bitter, cold truth.
“You made the decision I was too scared to make.” Garrett shocks me with his confession. His eyes are full of tears too, and I can see months of sleepless nights and frustration behind them. “I wanted her dead, Cole. I’ve thought about it every night since we let her go. I hate myself for not being man enough to pull that trigger every time I have to hold my wife in my arms when she wakes up from a nightmare and panics that her little girl isn’t in her crib. I regret it, every time I step out that doorand know I won’t be seeing Dalton in the yard. You took the lead of this family when I was too weak to make the right decision,” he admits, and when I look to Wade he stares at me blankly.
“You know, since he’s been gone, I’ve gone to Dalton’s grave every couple of days,” Wade admits. “It feels kinda stupid but I talk to him, tell him shit that only you guys would ever know about me. I wanted him to know me like a brother.” He pours himself another drink and manages to keep a brave face. “There’s always fresh flowers on his grave when I visit, and I’ve been convincing myself that they’re from her, tellin’ myself she was feelin’ some kind of remorse for what she did.” Wade swipes away the tears he lets fall.
“I’m sorry.” I hate that that’s all I got for him
“You know what’s crazy about it all, is that even after all she did, I was still expecting her to change.” He laughs at himself.
“Wade…” I move to step toward him.
“You’re right, Cole. She was an evil fuckin’ bitch, and she deserves to be dead.” Wade shoves past me and rushes out the door, leavin’ me and Garrett alone and in silence
“So what now?” I eventually look to my big brother, who takes the letter I wrote and tears it into pieces.
“You get your ass out onto that yard and get some work done. We’ll have no more talk of this shit again.” He waves the torn-up pieces at me before he tosses them in the trash. “And if you ever threaten to leave this family again, I’ll kick your ass.” He comes at me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, holding me tight and letting me feel all the tension in his body.
“Do you forgive me?” I whisper.
“You protected our family, I ain’t got nothin’ to forgive you for,” he tells me.
“This is fun, isn’t it? I never thought those calligraphy classes I took would be so useful.” Mom smiles across the dining room table at me as she pops another invitation into the envelope and hands it across for me to seal. “I know you said you didn’t want anything fancy, and putting everything together in a hurry is a little stressful, but you’re happy, aren’t you?” She seems different since I've been back. She’s drinking less and seems less uptight than she was before I left.
“Of course I’m happy.” I twiddle the engagement ring on my finger and feel a stab of guilt when I tell another lie. They seem to come naturally to me these days.
The truth is, I don’t know how I feel anymore. All I know is that every day I’m trying. I’m trying to be happy. I’m trying to forget the way I felt about Cole and I’m really trying to move on.
“How’s it going in here?” Dan lets himself in through the door and immediately comes to me, leaning over my shoulder and placing a kiss on my cheek.
“We’re almost throughMom’sguest list.” I smirk at him and he laughs discreetly.
He knows how overbearing Mom’s been with organizing this wedding, and he probably thinks it’s pissing me off. I’d rather him think that than know that, in reality, it pleases me. I don’tcare who comes to watch me and Danny devote our lives to each other. Nor do I care what they eat, nor what color the flowers on the centerpieces will be. I don’t care because none of it really matters. This wedding is just a part of the big plan that was set up for me. The plan I thought I could change when I left here and went to Fork River.
I’m where I was always meant to be now. I’m learning to accept my parents' deception because I know it was done out of love, and Iwilllearn to fall in love with Dan the way he deserves me to. He’s a good enough guy, he’s reliable and trustworthy. The kinda man who any woman would be grateful to have as a husband.
“Are you still inviting these?” Mom taps her pen beside Maisie and Garrett’s name that’s on my list of friends.
“I don’t know.” All my enthusiasm drains when I think about how much I miss everyone back in Fork River.
“Well, the wedding is less than a month away, darling, we are cutting things fine as it is.”
“Of course, she’s inviting them. Maisie’s your best friend. I thought she’d be your maid of honor.” Dan looks surprised.
“I wasn’t gonna bother with all that.” I see the horror on Mom’s face and wonder how long it’ll be before she needs a drink.
“Sweetheart, I’ve already told Doreen that her granddaughter can be a flower girl, and you need the champagne from the bridesmaids' dresses to compliment the lily of the Valley in your bouquet.” She shakes her head as she gets up and moves toward the decanter on the mantelpiece.
“Mom, Maisie has three babies, I don’t think she’ll have time to even come, let alone play an active role.”
“You know she would kick your ass if she knew you were doing this without her.” Dan makes a valid point.
