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“It’s not bleeding as much. That’s a good sign, right?” Thunder asks.
Outlaw’s face contorts and he flips Thunder off.
Doc barks a curt laugh. “Or a very bad sign, but he’s still breathing and pissed off, so that’s a point on the right side of the equation. If you’re calling me, I’m guessing 911 isn’t an option.”
Shadow looks over at the camera. “Not a good one.”
“Of course it isn’t. It looks like he got lucky, but how the fuck would I know from here? Watch him like a hawk. It’s a good thing he’s a lean fucker. Keep his legs bent to take pressure off his abdomen and if you see any sign of bloating or he starts throwing up, I don’t fucking care where you are, you drops his ass off at the ER. Let him drink, but no food. If he’s still breathing in the morning, infection could still be a problem but there’s probably nothing worse happening where we can’t see it. He needs to rest, and I want you to call me if anything changes. Got it?”
“Got it,” I say, and hang up.
“Le—” Outlaw winces at the effort to speak. “Leave me here. You heard him. I’ll make it or not.”
Shadow rolls his eyes. “Shut up, dumbass. No one’s gonna fucking leave you here. Thunder, scout around. See if there are any tarps, Hi-Viz jackets or anything we can use to keep him warm and make this a little less fucking uncomfortable. Stay out of sight and don’t take any fucking chances.”
“On it.”
Harper is sitting off to the side, watching everything with a thousand yard stare. I walk over and crouch down in front of her. “Hey.”
“It was for me. He got shot because he stayed between me and the guards. Is he going to be okay?” she whispers.
I could lie to make her feel better, but she’s not dumb. “I don’t know.”
15
HARPER
Thunder is stretched out on the ground, using his shirt as a pillow and snoring softly. Lightning is slumped over in a chair, dead asleep. How? I try to close my eyes, but every time I do, all I can see is Bruno’s head exploding, and then Vincent Mesner—the man who seemed so enthusiastic about being my father—walk away. He left me there. Maybe I could believe that he didn’t specifically want me to die, but he sure didn’t seem bothered by the possibility.
But Outlaw, a man I’m not sure even likes me, put his body between me and danger.
I get up and walk over to check on him. He’s sleeping as well, after taking the little over the counter packet of painkillers from the first-aid kit. He was restless at first, but seems to be sleeping easier now. I reach out and let my fingers skim over the makeshift bandage without really touching. If that bullet had hit him anywhere else, it could've been the end. It still could. There’s no guarantee that it didn’t nick him somewhere inside.
He got hit protecting me.
“Sleep,” Shadow says quietly, but it makes me jump anyway.
I find him looking at me from the shadows a few feet away. It’s his turn to watch Outlaw and stay alert in case anyone finds us. I shake my head. “I tried. I don’t know how they can fall asleep at a time like this. I can’t stop feeling.”
He nods slowly, an understanding look on his face. “They trust me to have their backs, and they know the only way to do the same is to get as much rest as possible. I can fucking guarantee you they have a lot of fucking feelings about what’s happening, but sometimes you have to pack it up and put it on a shelf to deal with later.”
“I don’t know how,” I whisper.
“Don’t you? What did you do when your mom got sick? Did you fall apart? Or did you step up and keep going even though you didn’t know what the fuck you were doing and if it was the right choice?”
“That's different.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah! Because I love her and I know she’d do the same for me. If it was up to Outlaw, you wouldn’t be in this situation. He didn’t want to take me with you, and look where it got him. This is my fault.” I fidget with my hands, twisting my fingers around each other. The manicure is chipping on one of my nails, and I feel like a bitch for even noticing at a time like this.
Shadow stands up and walks to my side, he takes my hand and pulls me away from Outlaw’s sleeping form. “Do you want me to be all comforting and shit, or do you want me to be real?”
“Real. I guess.”
“ ‘What if’ is a game you can play back as far back as you want. Life's just a chain of consequences, and none of us are the center of the fucking universe. If your daddy gave a shit about human life we wouldn’t have been in town at all. If we hadn’t picked such a public way to kick him in the nuts, we wouldn’t have had to grab you in the first place. Outlaw is a grown man who makes his own damn choices. There isn’t a fucking world where he would have let you or any of us take a bullet if he could make a difference.”
