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Outlaw's riding to our left. The others seem to be careful about making sure he stays where they can see him. I’m still awed by how he’s able to function with such a major injury. I’m not scared by the tattoos, piercings and grumpy attitude anymore. He reminds me of Garfield, the cat we found when I was little. It was a big, orange tabby who’d probably been living on the street for a long time. At first all he did was hide under the couch or the bed, growling if I tried to pet him.
I must’ve been about five, and I cried about it to Mom because I wanted a cat like I saw in the cute cat videos. She sat me down and explained that sometimes, when someone has been scared and alone for a long time, it takes time, but they deserve the chance, because when they do learn to trust, they will trust you with their whole heart.
She was right back then, and when I see Outlaw with the others—men he trusts with his life—I see the man who put himself in the line of a bullet for me.
The hotel is nicer than I expected for being along the highway. It's tied to a little casino, like it ran away from Las Vegas and ran out of juice here. I suppose once you're in Nevada, any stop is a gambling opportunity. But as long as it has a functioning shower, I'm happy. I’d be a lot happier if I still had my luggage, but we never made it back to the little motel.
My wedding dress is probably either for sale online or shoved into a lost and found box. I won’t miss it, but I would kill for those silk pajamas.
Shadow taps the keycard on the latch and opens the door. I’m the first one in. “Wow! This is nice.”
It's a small suite on the tenth floor, with not only two queen size beds, but a little side room with a sitting area, a big TV and a pretty nice view of the town. To turn on the lights, there’s a little screen with a color wheel that I can touch to adjust the lightning. I put us firmly in the red light district before finding something a little more natural, with just a hint of purple from a strip of lights hidden near the crown molding. Neat.
Shadow chuckles. “Just because we’re bikers doesn’t mean we’re poor, baby girl. I thought we could all do with the chance to stretch out a little.”
Outlaw does exactly that, carefully stretching out on the bed with a soft breathing hiss.
“And yet we still have to have to fight over who bunks with who tonight,” Lightning says with a laugh, collapsing onto a chair in the sitting area.
“I feel like I’m running away from my problems,” I say while wetting my lips. “Mom is out there somewhere, and I don’t know if she’s okay. He could be hurting her, or telling her I’m dead or all sorts of horrible things.”
“Carnell is on it. In the meantime, the most important thing is to keep you safe, and that’s what we’re doing.” Thunder sits on one of the beds, putting our heights about even. “We’ve been doing nothing but reacting since this shit started. It’s time to take a minute and think.”
“I know…” I lean my back against the wall, kind of how my whole life feels at the moment. “I just hate not doing anything.”
“Waiting is shit. It’s one of the hardest fucking things to do. We all fucking hate it, but you have to play this smart.” Shadow sounds about as frustrated as I feel.
I look around the room taking in all four of them, one by one. Outlaw might be the only one hurt, but they all look rough. “Why are you guys even still here? Honestly. You've got your bikes back, you delivered your message to Vincent. You don’t need me for anything anymore. I’m literally just more trouble for you. Not that I don't appreciate it, because I have no idea what I'd do without you guys, but… you're putting yourselves at a lot of risk here, for what?” I have to ask, even if I'm terrified that if they think about it, they'll come to their senses and leave.
I get hard stares back from each and every one, like I'm asking a really stupid question. Even Outlaw.
“Pretty fucking sure we promised to keep you safe. That means something. Do you think we’d go back on our word just because shit got messy?” Thunder sounds genuinely insulted.
“No, of course not, but there has to be a time limit on that, right? Ten years from now you aren’t still going to be with me just because you made a promise. None of us expected things to spiral this far out of control.” I raise my hands like I'm trying to indicate the whole universe.
