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Felicity smiled at me. “Let me give you two some space. I’ve got to change Eli anyway.” She wrangled her daughter. “Come on, Eloise. Come help me with your brother.”
My eyes followed them as they headed up the stairs. When I looked up at Sig again, his gaze was warm.
“I was gonna head back soon, you know,” I told him. “You didn’t need to come all the way here.”
He tugged gently at my shirt. “Do you have any idea how painful it was to see you for a matter of minutes after all the time we’ve spent apart, only to have you leave again?”
“How did it go with your parents after I left?”
“After your mic drop, you mean?” He grinned. “Pretty sure you saved the day. My mother softened a lot. Your passion is palpable, able to permeate even the toughest of hearts. We ended up toasting to the baby and managed to have a nice lunch together.”
Relief washed over me. “Like so many things in life, worrying about the outcome was worse than the actual event. I’m glad they know now. You didn’t need that looming over you.”
He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “We have enough looming overus, as it is, don’t we? And I know much of it’s my fault—for not being crystal clear about my intentions, for leaving so much up to an uncertain future. You’ve been upset these past few weeks. And I haven’t helped the situation, haven’t given you clear answers on whereIstand, and yet I’ve asked you to open up to me. That’s not fair.”
“Wheredoyou stand, Sigmund?”
He stared through me. “I’m terrified. Terrified of losing you. Terrified of becoming a father. Terrified of changing my mind and deciding to raise this child when I still don’t know if I can handle it. I’m terrified of making the wrong decisions. I’ve been using our incredible chemistry as an escape from difficult choices. As we get closer, it’s harder to escape into you and not worry about the rest. These months with you—both in person and through the connection we’ve built when we weren’t physically together—have been some of the best of my life. This is the first time in a long time that I’ve been happy. I didn’t think I was capable of feeling that way again. But I can’t stick my head in the sand forever. I don’t know what’s best for this child. I don’t know what’s best foryouanymore, a life with or without me.” He wrapped his hands around my face. “But thereisone thing I’m certain of, and that’s that I love you.”
My heart skipped a beat. I was not expecting those words. Not today. Not ever.
“I don’t know whether that means I should love you enough to encourage you to go on with your life or beg you to stay,” he continued. “I just know I love you, Abby. And I needed to tell you. That’s why I couldn’t wait for you to get back. It couldn’t wait a second longer.”
My eyes welled up as a bittersweet feeling rose within me. I wantedsobadly to believe him, that hetrulyloved me. But the doubt was real. I still struggled with the worry that I was a consolation prize. And I could never admit that insecurity. It felt selfish and immature. It wasn’t fair to make him compare. Not to mention, I could never admit that I’d read his private email.
I looked up and realized too many seconds had gone by in silence. But there was only one honest response. “I love you, too.” I placed my hand over his, still cradling my face. “But I’m scared.”
“I will never willingly hurt you.” He leaned in to kiss me again, my stomach pressed against him. He jumped back as my belly suddenly twitched. “What was that?”
I laughed. “It was your baby kicking.”
While he’d seen the baby kick on FaceTime, Sig had never been around to feel it before. He placed his hand on my bump and watched in awe as it happened again. “Oh my God.”
“Surreal, right?”
He kept his hand there for a minute before the baby seemed to calm down. “You’re amazing. How your body has been keeping this little alien alive while dealing with everything else—including me…”
“It’s been my pleasure. All of it.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “Let me take care of you tonight.”
My body stirred. “What did you have in mind?”
“Believe it or not,thatwasn’t the first thing.” He winked. “It’s up there, though.”
After we said goodbye to Felicity, I followed Sig back to the inn. As usual, he insisted on driving in front of me to provide some light on the otherwise dark road.
Later, he made me dinner and told me to relax downstairs with Lavinia for a bit while he went up.
When I heard the water, I suspected he was running me a bath. But I didn’t expect the scene I actually found when I got up there.
CHAPTER 46
Abby
Track 46: “Small Bump” by Ed Sheeran
The lights were off. There were candles flickering. And the most relaxing spa music played on a Bluetooth speaker.
