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“Right. I figured.”
“How are you feeling about today?” he asked.
“Nervous.”
“Yeah, you’re not the only one,” he admitted.
“Kate and Phil were hoping to come for the first ultrasound,” I told him. “But Phil’s mother down in Florida isn’t doing well. They’ve had to move there temporarily to be with her. Not sure if you knew that.”
“They called and have been keeping me apprised of that situation, yeah.”
“There’ll be other opportunities for them to come.”
He nodded.
We kept the conversation light for the remainder of our ride to the medical center in London.
When we arrived, we checked in and waited our turn. After a few minutes, the ultrasound tech called us into a dark room. Sig stayed in a corner, leaning up against the wall.
“You want to come sit here by your wife so you can see?” the tech asked.
I cringed, my stomach forming knots.Ugh. Why did she have to make that assumption?
Sig said nothing, stone faced.
“I’m not his wife,” I explained. “I’m a surrogate.” I glanced over at him. “We’re not together.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“My wife is the biological mother. But she’s deceased,” Sig added. “Abby is carrying our baby.”
The woman’s mouth dropped open. “Wow. All these years doing this… I can’t say I’ve ever had such a situation before.” She smiled. “That’s amazing.” She shook her head and put on some gloves. “I’m gonna have to ask you to remove your trousers and knickers.”
What?“Um, my underwear? Isn’t this done on my stomach?”
“No, the earliest ultrasound is done transvaginally.”
Oh boy.
“Would you be more comfortable if I left?” Sig asked, already walking toward the exit, ready to flee the premises.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. “You can’t see anything from behind me. Just look at the screen.”
He swallowed. “Alright.”
He kept his distance as she eased the wand inside of me. There was a bit of pressure as the probe went in. Once something appeared on the screen, I waved him over. “Come closer so you can see.”
My heart raced as I waited for the tech to say something. I couldn’t make much out within the snowy image myself.
“See that?” She finally pointed. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat.”
I finally noticed it, a little rhythmic flickering of light—oflife. I felt like a stranger in my own body, because how could I not have felt that? For the most part I still didn’t feel any different, and yet this life was forming within me, growing by the day.
“I’m happy to tell you that everything looks good. You’re about ten weeks along.” She typed a few things into her computer. “Due date of February tenth.”
I finally pried my eyes away from the little beating heart to look behind me at Sig. He stared at the screen, mesmerized and barely blinking. I imagined he was wishing Britney could’ve been here. Heck, I could barely hold it together, and it wasn’t even my baby. That’s what I had to keep telling myself—this is not your baby. Don’t get attached.But I still felt emotional, seeing that little heartbeat.
When I looked over at the ultrasound tech, she was also looking at Sig, perhaps trying to gauge his reaction.
