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Lavinia interrupted my thoughts as I sat at the kitchen table with her after dinner. I’d come on Friday evening to stay the weekend at the inn, and we’d just poured some tea.
“Yeah,” I said. “Why?”
“You were staring off into space.”
I’d just been thinking about Abby. It had been a long couple of months since I’d left her in Rhode Island, and she’d had an ultrasound today. She was now a little over seven months along.
It felt like I hadn’t seen her in forever. Felicity and Leo’s son, Eli, had arrived the day after I returned from the States. The baby looked like a giant now, compared to when he was born two months ago. I kept using his size as a gauge to measure how long I’d been away from Abby. Not a day went by that I didn’t miss her like mad.
Ever intuitive, Lavinia, as usual, decided to stick her nose where it didn’t belong. “Are you thinking about her?” she asked.
“Even if I were, why would that be any of your business?” I took a sip of my tea.
“Youare my business, Sigmund. What other business do I have?”
I immediately felt like an arse. Without children of her own, Lavinia looked at me like a son.
“I’m sorry. I suppose that’s true.” I sighed. “Yes, I was thinking of her.”
“Anything you want to share?”
“Not particularly.”
Lavinia obviously knew Abby and I had some sort of physical relationship before Abby left, but she’d never asked me for specifics, nor did I divulge anything. She knew nothing about what had happened between Abby and me in Rhode Island, specifically that we’d had the most amazing sex of my life right before I’d come back here.
“Anything you’rewillingto share?” she prodded.
Sighing, I rubbed my temples. “I miss her, alright? Is that what you want to hear?”
She smiled. “I miss her, too. She really brightened things up around here.”
“Indeed, she did.” I paused. “But we’re better off being apart.”
Lavinia tilted her head. “Why would you say that?”
“I took things too far with her. You already know that—I don’t need to spell it out. This situation was complicated from the beginning, and I made it worse by crossing the line. This distance is probably a blessing in disguise.”
“A blessing? Except you’re not happy. And I doubt she is, either. How doesthatmake sense?” She leaned in. “Why can’t you two be together, anyway?”
My chest constricted. “Are you seriously asking that?”
“Yes. I want you to tell me the reasons.”
“How much time do you have?”
She crossed her arms. “Plenty.”
“I forgot who I was talking to. You don’t have anything better to do.”
“So, tell me.”
“The very reason surrogacy works is the separation, the boundaries that go along with it. This baby doesn’t have a mother. IknowAbby. I know she would want to be involved in its life if she were around long enough. And I can’t do that to her. She’d be stuck. She has her whole life ahead of her and didn’t sign up for that.”
Lavinia pursed her lips. “Hmm...”
“What now?”
“I have a theory here.”
