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How indeed. It’s not so much how he behaved but how I did. God, I almost climbed him like a tree. “Fine. You forgot to mention he’s a guy.”
Mindy laughs. “Would it have mattered? He’s almost a decade younger than you and you’re not his type, so I don’t see any issue.”
Well, that hurts. I know she doesn’t mean it that way, but that comment cuts deep. Not totally her fault because I’m extra sensitive nowadays. My emotions are all over the place.
At 35 years old, I’m stuck. I’m at a crossroads, and I don’t know where to go from here. My friends are either getting married or having babies. Meanwhile, I’m about to start a new job in a new city. I’m exactly where I was 12 years ago.
For years, I worked as a freelance artist. I loved it. But the more I saw everyone starting families, the more unsure I was of the path I decided to take. My job meant I could stay at home all day long and didn’t give me any chance to meet new people.
The uncertainty and anxiety eventually affected my work. My creative juices stopped flowing, my artwork looked boring, bland, and ugly, and I lost the confidence to stay in such a competitive industry.
That was what led me here—to a job working as one of the artists in a digital marketing agency. I was about to check into my new place last night when my landlady said they didn’t expect me to arrive a month earlier and my apartment still had tenants. I could have found another place to sleep, maybe a hotel or an Airbnb, but I was broke. I was broke from months of floating career-wise and having no stable income. I had to save as much as I could.
When I called Mindy, she offered Mika’s place.
I saw the name “Mika Melnik” in the lobby beside his apartment number and fully expected a young girl to meet me. Not a massive hunk of a man with a face I’d like to ride until my whole world splits apart.
He was so big he filled the entire door frame. Not even just that. He was the hottest, most ruggedly handsome guy I’d ever seen, with dark brown eyes, long, thick eyelashes any girl would kill for, bushy eyebrows, and black messy hair with droplets of water clinging to every strand.
Now I’m here and already making out with him less than 24 hours after we met. God, is this me trying to make up for those years when I ignored every guy who showed interest in me?
“Mika and you… Well, you’re as compatible with each other as pineapple on pizza.” Mindy laughs again.
It’s not a mean comment, but I’m so desperate to prove myself that I almost blurt out what Mika and I were doing before she interrupted us with her call.
“Yeah. It’s just a few weeks anyway. Thanks, by the way. You’re a lifesaver.”
“You deserve this shot, Max. I know it’s hard to move to another state and start all over again. So I’m really rooting for you. You know that, right?”
I sigh and smile even though she can’t see me.
This is why I love Mindy. She looks after me whenever I forget to look after myself.
Those times when I didn’t leave my home for days because I was too fixated on the projects, she dropped by and brought me groceries. She would even force me to eat out with her at our favorite diner or run around the park.
She’s that kind of friend.
We talk for a few minutes more before she finally ends the call, and for some reason, I feel twenty pounds lighter.
Tomorrow is my first day at work. I’m nervous as hell, but at least I finally have something stable. I don’t need to hunt for clients anymore or network as much as I can. I’ll have a steady paycheck. That’s something at least.
I don’t see Mika for the rest of the day, but I know he’s sleeping because I may or may not have listened on his door only to hear nothing.
When Monday morning arrives, I’m a big ball of nervous energy. But the nerves are for nothing because I actually end up enjoying the environment, my workmates, and even the work itself. I’m not back to my 100% creative self, but I don’t doubt I’ll get there eventually.
Maybe I just need a bit of change.
Mika: It’s raining hard. Are you still at work?
Me: Yup. Don’t worry. I got an umbrella
Mika: Can’t let you commute in this weather. Text me your office address
Me: I’m fine
He doesn’t respond after that, which is fine. I can’t impose on him. Besides, I hate being a burden to anyone. I’m a grown woman. I should be taking care of myself.
I gather my things and take out my folding umbrella. Too bad I’m not wearing a coat or something. In my defense, it was sunny when I left home.
