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I…liked that.
Words matter. I’ve always believed that. But up-front, in-public words have always been scary.
Until…tonight.
As I think back over it, I was shocked that Torin was doing that. But I wasn’t shocked by the words themselves.
Torin is in love with me.
That doesn’t feel shocking. That feels…obvious.
Yelling it to a roomful of strangers from a tabletop isn’t how I expected to hear about it, but it was…very Torin.
And I feel a little healed from it.
I suddenly have to sit down.
My butt hits the mattress as my heart pounds and I stare off into the distance, my thoughts swirling.
For a girl who was made fun of and judged and bullied when she was in the spotlight in the past, this felt so damned good.
A prince climbed up on a table and shouted his feelings for hundreds of people to hear.
“Abi?” I hear Charlie ask. “You okay.”
I focus on her. “Yeah. I’m great. I guess I just wish he’d said them to me first.”
Ami leans in. “He’s never told you he’s in love with you?”
I shake my head. “Tonight is the first time I’ve heard it. Along with a bunch of other people. Without him even knowing I was there.”
Charlie gives a little wince. “But he knows you hate the spotlight,” Charlie says.
“Yeah.” I pause, then look at my sisters. “Jonah told me Torin said he couldn’t keep the words inside any longer and since he couldn’t say them to me, he had to say them to someone.”
Ami frowns. “Why would he feel he couldn’t say them to you?”
“I don’t know.”
Charlie gives me a ‘come on’ look. “Abigail, you do know.”
I frown. “What?”
“The man knows you,” she says. “He knows you and he listens to you. You talk about how you don’t trust words and talk. You need to see what people do before you trust them. You said getting married was practical. You talked about the farming program and how great it would be for Cara. You were very interested in how being the princess would mean you could get things done faster and easier. You didn’t marry him or move to Cara with him because you were in love with him, and he knows that.”
I feel a pang in my chest.
I know I said all of those things. I know that’s what Torin thinks.
But I’m not sure it’s true.
Moving to Cara for the farms and taking on the title of princess did seem practical. But I think it was an excuse. A way to make myself feel like falling in love with Torin made sense.
Ami nods. “He didn’t want to freak you out by telling you that he’d fallen in love with you and there are now a bunch of emotions complicating something that he thinks, for you, is supposed to be simple and straightforward.”
My throat tightens. “I care about him,” I say. “A lot. I love being here with him. I think he’s amazing. He’s going to be an amazing king. I want him to believe in himself. I love what he has planned for this country. And I love his heart. I love his insecurities. I love being with him. I love the things he believes in. I love how he makes me feel about myself.”
My sisters are quiet. They both just sit smiling at me, letting me think about what I just said.
