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The pretty young woman next to her, takes her hand and offers me an apologetic smile. The woman is obviously very pregnant with this little girl's future sibling.
I give her a smile too. "Hi, I'm Abigail."
Suddenly everyone drops into a curtsy as one.
I'm appalled.
I push myself away from the wall. "No, no, don't do that," I tell them, waving my hands. “I just slipped out here to take a quick break. This is not a formal occasion. Please don’t curtsy.”
In fact, I’m putting it on my to do list to do away with curtsy-ing for the princess altogether if possible.
Everyone looks back up at me. The little girl’s mother says, “Hello, my name is Sorcha. And this is Aisling.” She puts her hand on the little girl’s head.
I force a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Why are you out here with us?” the little girl asks.
“Aisling, don’t ask questions like that. The princess can go wherever she wants to,” her mother admonishes.
I run a hand on the front of my dress and take another deep breath. Do not throw up again, do not throw up again, especially in front of this little girl. You might scar her for life.
“Honestly,” I say. “I got nervous. This is the first time I’ve done something like this as princess. I’m not good at speaking in front of big crowds. I was standing up in front with Prince Torin and I realized all of these people were here to see me and suddenly I just couldn’t talk.” I lean in. “In fact, I threw up.”
The little girl’s eyes go wide. “You did?”
“It happens a lot. I have bad anxiety. Do you know what that is?"
The little girl shakes her head and looks up at her mom.
“Well," I say. "It's when you get really nervous or scared about things. For me it's being up in front of a lot of people. Especially if I have to talk. It's really hard for me to control. And even though it's super embarrassing, one of the things that happens is I throw up."
"I hate throwing up," Aisling says.
"Me too. And it really makes being a princess hard sometimes. I want to get up and talk to people, and I want to stand beside Prince Torin, but it's really hard to be up in front."
I notice the crowd is staring at me and everyone is completely silent. There is some surprise, of course, but I notice that they seem to be relaxing.
"Well, I throw up about eight times a day, and I hate it too," Sorcha says. “I’m sorry that happens to you.”
I give her a smile. "You have a little better reason."
"Being nervous is a fine reason.” This comes from a woman to her left. "Being nervous is a very normal thing. We all feel it sometimes.”
I look at her and give her a grateful smile. "Thank you. I'm just a really bad public speaker and it makes this new position hard.”
“Well, you’re obviously good at other things,” another woman says. “This farm idea sounds pretty great.”
I look at her quickly. “Really?”
“Yes, we’ve been reading about it, and we’re excited to have oranges and fresh lettuce and things like that right here. My son is hoping to get a job helping with the building.”
I feel some of my nerves give way to excitement. “That’s wonderful.”
"And you're doing okay talking now," another woman says.
This woman is leaning on a walker. I quickly take in the details about the rest of the women. There are varying ages, some are dressed casually in blue jeans and T-shirts, while others are dressed up in professional wear. There are even a couple in heels.
"Are you all out here because there's no room upfront?"
