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I tapped his thigh. “Lean back a sec,” I instructed, leaning across his lap, practically laying on him as I reached beside him for the loose seatbelt. “There it is,” I said, grunting as I pulled myself up with said belt in my hand, losing my balance and jamming my free hand directly into his crotch.
Cole flinched from the surprise and possibly the pain. “Yowch,” he cried, flinching and grabbing my wrist. My face was an inch from his as he gripped me tightly, my hand still buried in his crotch.
I immediately felt his cock flex under my hand and we locked eyes for maybe a second. The second was the longest one I’d ever spent wondering what to do next. I couldn’t exactly move my hand because he had my wrist in a vice-grip as his face registered discomfort.
“Oh my God! Shit… I’m so… so… sorry,” I stuttered.
He slowly lifted my hand away from his cock, and once clear of the pain zone, released me, assisting my balance as I sat back in my seat. He was so strong that I momentarily forgot what I’d accidentally done.
“So, you do swear,” he said, his voice squeaking, his eyes still registering the shock of punched balls as he stretched his legs further into the floorboard.
I began to laugh. “I nail you in the nuts and you say that?” I tried to hold my laughter at his pain inside but spat out the effort and let loose with the giggles. “You… you… you…” I couldn’t finish my thought because I was laughing so hard. I pointed at his crotch. “You…” I’d obviously lost my ever-loving mind. I couldn’t speak coherent words.
At first, Cole stared at me like I’d lost a screw or two, while I seemed to have found his pain funny. The more I thought about how awful my reaction was, the more I broke up over it.
“You’re amused?” he asked.
I instantly stopped laughing, my face freezing in regret. For a moment, anyway. I tried looking away, but that didn’t help. I turned back and found him glaring at me. “Sorry,” I mumbled, stifling a giggle.
“Next time, just ask to touch it.”
We stared at each other. He kept his face emotionless as I studied him. Neither of us broke, but I was struggling not to burst.
“Maybe gentler next time?” I asked.
“You asshole,” he quipped, joining me in the fun.
He threw his head back against the seat and let himself get carried away by the absurdity of what had just happened. Cole had a deep, full-throated laugh. He stomped his feet on the floor like he had to release the joy somewhere. For just a flash, he looked happy. He appeared to have found a moment to appear alive.
“You wouldn’t like it gentle, Mr. Hicks,” I joked.
“Stop!” he yelled, slapping his knees as he continued laughing. “I can’t breathe.”
“I’m thinking that wasn’t hard enough,” I added, enjoying this side of him.
“Oh my God! Stop, Chad,” he said, raising his hand.
I watched as he allowed the humor to break down walls I think he lived behind. Every time he glanced at me, he’d lose his shit again and hide his face with his hands. For the first time, I saw a young man in him.
“You still don’t have your seatbelt on,” I reminded him.
He peeked through his hands at me. I grinned and pointed. “Stay the fuck away!” he joked. We lost it again.
But after one more burst of laughter and the final sigh from catching his breath, he inhaled slowly while his eyes filled with tears. One by one, they fell down his face until he leaned over and sobbed.
I quickly slid onto the center console and rubbed his back. “Hey, it’s okay. Just let it out,” I whispered. “I’ve got you, Cole. Let the pain out. There’s no shame here,” I soothed.
He sat up and faced me, moving his head side to side, trying to form words with a half-opened mouth, saliva stretching from lip to lip, but the words were trapped as he fell into my arms and wept.
“Shhh,” I consoled. “Slow and deep breaths. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” I repeated, holding the back of his head and caressing him.
Another minute went by before he leaned back and we locked eyes. His wet eyes spoke of a sadness that he was buried under. Memories of lost love were haunting him. I’d seen this before. I’d lived it and knew it too well.
Our eyes remained locked when Cole leaned forward to kiss me. As much as I wanted to experience this man, this was not the time or the place. I held my hand to his chest, not pushing him away, not inviting him in.
“No,” I said. “This is not about me, Cole.”
He sat back in his seat, wiping at his eyes, and stared straight ahead through the bug-splattered windshield.
