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“I should’ve known,” he said. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Chad, but you’re obviously too good for me,” he said softly.
“That’s not true,” I replied. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I’m damaged goods,” he answered, no emotion in his voice. “I’m completely stuck and I have no idea how to get unstuck.” He released a heavy breath. “I was out driving because I was desperate for something to do. Anything. Something to kill the loneliness. But I don’t have anywhere to go, and no one to see. I treat people badly and that’s why they leave.”
Cole reached for the door handle and opened it. “Don’t go,” I urged. “Everyone has sorrow, Cole, and everyone hurts, but we find a way. I truly believe that life is not a dress rehearsal, so we have to help each other through these sorts of things. We get this one life only and it’s up to us to find our path through the roadblocks.”
He pushed the door open and stepped out. “I’m going to wait for that roadside thing after all,” he stated, gesturing to his car before focusing on me. “I tried to fuck your friend, by the way. You may as well know before he tells you.”
He shut the door and made his way to his car. I sat in mine and watched him get into his.
“He already told me,” I muttered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: Cole
Two And A Half Years Ago
As hard as Alan tried, the front door to our apartment always got stuck on the threshold and took a swift kick to the bottom of the door to open. I glanced at the alarm clock. One fifteen in the morning on a Tuesday.
“You can turn the light on, Alan,” I said in the darkness. He’d made his way down the hall of our apartment, creeping and feeling his way to the open bedroom door.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “Late night. Big case.”
I reached for and turned on the table lamp by my side of the bed, my eyes squinting as they tried to adjust to the brightness. “Another busy night, huh?” I asked.
He jumped from the intrusion of the light, making his guilty face harder to conceal from me. “Yeah, you know,” he began, carefully attempting to cover his lie. “All hands on deck type of thing.”
I sat up and watched as he fumbled with his dress shoes. His hair was disheveled, a total no-no for him, and his tie was untied, loosely hanging around his neck like it had been haphazardly put on for a second time that day.
“You look like you were in a war,” I noted. “Like you were so busy you got undressed.”
“And what exactly are you implying, Cole?”
I continued watching him undress. First the dress shirt, then the undershirt, the belt, the slacks, laying the entire outfit over a side chair. He stood at the foot of our bed in his usual black Calvin’s. He was more handsome than the day I’d met him in Central Park.
His abs were still prominent, and he filled out the pouch of his briefs marvelously. He had that certain thing I was crazy about. The thing that sets you off on wild journeys of lust and desire. I’d had the feeling on day one, and I had it right then. If you asked me, I wouldn’t be able to describe the thing to you. I’d most likely just point at him and say, ‘that’. That thing right there.
I loved him. I was in love with him. Totally. Completely. But the wheels were coming off our love train and I was watching him slowly pull away from the station. I wished he was strong enough, no, honest enough, to tell me the truth. How long would it be before he did?
“You weren’t at work, Alan. Please don’t lie to me any longer. Can you at least do that?” I asked.
“Yes, I was,” he defended.
“Until when? It’s after one in the morning,” I stated. “You were off at five-thirty. Like every day, Alan. You start at nine. You’re off at five-thirty.”
“So, what’s your fucking point, Detective Hicks?”
I pursed my lips and slowly nodded, realizing maybe the news I so dreaded would be tonight. Maybe I was done waiting, after all.
“I called your office,” I admitted. “Jesse said you left with Tad at five PM.”
“That’s right,” he said. “Jesse was correct with his information, Cole. We went to Tad’s place to plan for the case. There are some unforeseen circumstances in this one. He needed my help.”
I focused on the word ‘unforeseen.’ There sure were. “Like the two of you having sex?”
“Oh, God, Cole. Not again,” he huffed, turning and heading for the bathroom, his answer to any disagreement: leave the room. “You are so fixated on Tad,” he hollered from the other room.
I jumped out of bed and followed him to the bathroom. I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t actually want to know he’d checked out of our relationship, but I also couldn’t stand the gut kicks I was experiencing every night he was late.
