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Tyler tucked the book back between its neighbors and lifted his gaze to the ceiling high above us. “Sebastian…” His voice trailed away.
“I’m not angry, Ty,” I said. “I’m not…anything. I just want to know.”
He looked into my eyes and my heart broke for him. But I had to know. Did he want to lift my mood by messing around? Was he only trying to prove a point? Or was there more? I didn’t dare voice those thoughts. They were scary enough in the isolation of my mind.
He gave me a little smile. “Will you believe me if I tell you I don’t know?”
I shook my head. “Just tell me, Ty,” I said. “We’ve been acting weird for two days and I can’t take it anymore. Just tell me that it was a pity kiss to cheer me up.”
His lips parted in surprise, eyebrows rising a fraction of an inch. “Pity?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It meant nothing to you, right? You did it ‘cos Jennifer cheated on me and you didn’t know what else to do.”
“That’s not…why,” he said. “I don’t know what made me do it, Sebastian. We were talking about all those things, soulmates and friends. I don’t know. I just felt like it was something I wanted.”
My chest shuddered. I didn’t know relief could feel so terrible. As the pressure lifted, I drew a deep breath, my lungs burning. It was like I hadn’t breathed fully in two days. But another fear was lurking in my racing mind. “And Courtney?”
Frustration finally showed on his face. Of course, this was touchy. “I don’t know, Sebastian. It’s not like I planned everything out. Can you believe that I wasn’t thinking about Courtney when I realized I wanted to kiss you? Can you believe that she didn’t factor into my decision to go a little gay for you?”
I blinked twice in rapid succession. He was annoyed with me for bringing up Courtney, but I still needed to hear those words. “So, you’re…what?”
Tyler snorted and stepped back, leaning against the bookcase. I followed him, keeping us at the same two-foot distance. “I don’t know. An asshole for kissing you behind my girl’s back. A lousy friend who used you for a little experiment at the worst possible moment.” He counted each one with a finger. “Kind of bisexual or something along those lines. Confused out of my mind because I’m suddenly into you.”
The emotion was there before my mind could unpack and understand it. And it was showing on my face before I knew it.
Tyler frowned at me. “What?”
My eyebrows rose and I began to realize what I was doing.
“Why are you smiling? Did I say something stupid?” He cocked his head.
I was happy. I was so ridiculously happy that I couldn’t contain it. “You wanted it,” I said.
The annoyance was wiped away instantly. His features softened and he looked into my eyes. I didn’t doubt the honesty of his words. “Yeah. I wanted it.”
My teeth closed around my lower lip as something incredible soared through my torso. I felt it open up in my stomach, releasing flutters that were like nothing I had ever felt before.
He squared his shoulders and took one tiny step toward me. The distance between us halved. “It was bad timing. And I should have asked. And we shouldn’t have been drunk. But…I wanted it.”
“And…” This time I moved a little toward him, inches of space separating us. “Now? Do you still want it?”
“Sebastian, I…don’t want to make mistakes that can ruin what we have,” he said. He hesitated, blinked, and licked his lips. “But I do. I can’t stop wanting it. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
It was as easy as breathing. It was as natural as greeting him. He had been right the other night. Soulmates were much more than just physical attraction, but the attraction was there. It pulled me in even as I thought I was making my body move. It made my body melt into him and our lips touched again.
It was even better when we were sober. His minty breath and warm tongue met my insecure and eager lips as we turned our heads slightly and our brows touched.
I searched with my hands until I felt the lapels of his jacket and clutched him hard. The kiss was like a spectacular show of lights, but I felt like we were the fireworks. Colliding with one another, we turned around, and Ty put his hand on the back of my head a moment before my back pressed against the bookcase. Even in the wild moment of this passionate exploration, he was careful with me.
He leaned against me, his other arm wrapped around my waist, and kissed me deeply. I welcomed his tongue when it ventured out to explore my mouth. I parted my lips wide for him and savored the cool and minty flavors. I wanted this to last for the rest of my life, this feeling of completeness.
But my ears thumped with my loud heartbeat and my mind spun. I was dizzy both with lust that roared to life and made me hard and with the fear of what we were doing. It wasn’t so much a fear of what this was, but a fear of what it would do to us. What unexpected problems were we setting loose upon ourselves? What terrible pitfalls had we not considered?
But his body was warm, and his kisses were sweet, so I moved my arms around his neck and pulled him so close that I could hardly breathe.
When a shudder passed through us both, Tyler pulled his head back and looked into my eyes. “Does this mean you want it too?” he asked with a slightly cocky smile.
“What do you think?” I said.
