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I can’t hear fucking anything over the roaring in my own head.
Scrambling off him, I stagger to my feet.
My opponent crawls backwards until he can rest his back against the concrete wall behind him. Tilting his head back, he tries to stop the blood from dripping down his chin.
Chaos and restlessness rip through my soul.
I need another fight. Turning with jerky movements, I search for the guy who was going to fight me next. My eyes lock with his.
Fear flashes across his face.
In a heartbeat, he drops to his knees and taps his hand against the floor. Submitting before the fight has even begun.
Rage sears through me. I need a fight. I need to do something to expel this storm I’m currently drowning in.
My gaze sweeps across the rest of the crowd.
Every single person in the room drops to his knees and taps his hand against the floor in submission.
A snarl rips from my lungs.
They all surrendered before a fight could even begin.
I hate them for it because I need a fight so fucking badly that I can barely breathe anymore. Can barely think. Can barely see.
But I also understand them. This isn’t the first time I’ve spiraled like this, and the other times didn’t end very well for the people who were brave and stupid enough to agree to fight me.
When Kaden was here, he always deliberately provoked fights with me so that I could get the anger and restlessness out of my system before things got too bad. But Kaden and Eli and Rico have all graduated now. So this year, there has been no one to stop me from spinning out of control.
I’ve spiraled into these mad episodes a couple of times before, and everyone in this fight club has learned to recognize the signs. They know when they can fight me safely and when they should bow out before it even begins because all of the safeguards in my brain have already been fried.
And I fucking hate them all for it. But I can’t blame them.
So I spin on my heel and stalk towards the stairs.
There is a half empty bottle of whiskey on a low table by the wall. I think I brought it, but I can’t remember. I snatch it up anyway as I storm up the steps.
Shoving the door open, I emerge on a dark lawn.
Winds whirl around me, pulling at my hair as I start back towards my house.
I lift the bottle to my lips and drink deeply.
Then I glance down and notice that I’m not wearing a shirt. Was I wearing one when I left the house? I can’t remember. And it doesn’t matter.
Nothing fucking matters anymore.
Kayla is gone. My future is gone. Everything is gone.
Pain stabs through my heart. It’s so intense that I stumble a step to the side and have to brace myself on someone’s fence. Squeezing my hand into a fist, I press it hard over my heart in an attempt to stop the ache.
It doesn’t work.
I suck in a shuddering breath and then drink deeply from the bottle again.
Pushing off from the fence, I start towards my house once more.
My entire body feels empty. Hollow. Like there is nothing inside of me except the pain echoing in the void.
