Page 73 of Regency Whispers: Scandalous Matches

‘I know,’ Jane said with a sigh. ‘But what harm can it really do me in my tiny Somerset village where people have known me all my life? They won’t believe it. I’m steadfast Jane, sensible Jane.’ She scoffed. At least her reputation as being dull and undesirable was good for something. ‘There may be rumours, but I doubt anything will stick, and it is not as if I am trying to land myself a husband.’

‘And what of Tom?’

Jane felt a piercing pain slice through her heart every time she thought of the man she loved. ‘I suppose I won’t see him again.’ At least the scandal wouldn’t hurt him. If anything, it would enhance his reputation as a rake, and mean he escaped the machinations of society debutantes and their mothers.

‘This is all wrong!’ Lady Mountjoy burst out suddenly. ‘He loves you. I know he loves you.’

Jane shook her head sadly. She had hoped he did, even convinced herself he did. She remembered the heat in his kisses, the affection in his eyes when he’d looked at her. They had talked to one another like old friends and she knew marriage with him, the right sort of marriage, would have been easy.

‘I know he has reasons why he thinks he should not marry,’ Jane said, unsure how much Lady Mountjoy knew about Tom’s sister and how he blamed himself for leaving her behind. ‘But if he loved me, truly loved me, then none of that would matter—not enough to keep us apart.’

‘Sometimes he can be so stubborn,’ the countess murmured, then fell silent, staring out of the window.

Jane tried not to think about it, tried not to think about what their lives could have been like if she had said yes to him, tried not to wonder if she was making a mistake in refusing to marry him even if he was only offering her a match of convenience.

‘If you change your mind, do remember you are always welcome to stay with us, here or in Somerset. No matter what you decide, you are family now, and if you need anything at all I want you to ask.’

Jane nodded, realising she was going to miss Lady Mountjoy as much as she would miss Lucy. The rest of the debutantes had fallen one by one, finding their husbands and their happiness. Jane longed to catch up with Charlotte, who had stayed in Somerset with her husband, and with Eliza, who was on her honeymoon. Perhaps soon they could all reunite. She tried to dampen down the tears that threatened to come when she realised she was the only one of the five debutantes who had not ended the trip to London with the man she loved. Love and marriage had never been her aim. She should be proud she had achieved what she had set out to do and had garnered the interest of a publisher for her stories.

The carriage rolled to a stop and the driver set about arranging the transfer of her trunk and bags across to the coach to Bath. Jane felt a wrench of emotion and sprung forward in her seat, embracing the older woman who had given her so much.

‘I will miss you,’ she said, her voice muffled by Lady Mountjoy’s dress.

‘And I you, Jane. Do write and let me know you have reached home safely, and I will pay you a visit when we return to Somerset in a couple of months.’

It felt as though the walk to the coach were a mile rather than a mere twenty feet and Jane couldn’t bear to look back, getting on and taking her seat whilst desperately trying to stop herself from breaking down.

Slowly the coach filled up, the space quickly becoming hot despite the freezing temperatures outside. Everyone had on multiple layers, thick dresses or jackets layered over with coats and gloves, and it took a while for people to shed some of those layers to get comfortable. As a result, Jane felt crushed in the corner of the coach, pressed up against the side by a large middle-aged woman, and barely able to move her legs, as they were precariously placed so as not to touch those of the tall man opposite her. It was going to be a long few days.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Having ridden as fast as was possible on the busyroads back into the centre of London, Tom now paused for a minute outside the Mountjoys’ townhouse. Whilst riding, he had mulled over the right way to phrase things a hundred times, but now he was standing here he did not have a clue what he actually wanted to say.

‘Stop delaying,’ he muttered to himself and forced his feet to move.

The door opened immediately, and Tom was surprised to find Lady Mountjoy standing there, her eyes red-rimmed.

‘Is something amiss?’

‘Come in, come in,’ the countess said, ushering him inside. ‘Foolish boy, asking me if something is amiss.’

‘What has happened? Is it Jane? Is she unwell?’ He had an awful sinking sensation in his stomach and almost pushed past Lady Mountjoy, determined to climb the stairs and check for himself that Jane was unharmed.

Lady Mountjoy turned and walked away, motioning for him to follow her through to the drawing room.

‘Jane’s health is as robust as always. On that front you do not have to fear.’

‘I really need to speak to her.’

‘That won’t be possible...’

‘I know she has refused the last few days, but I am adamant I will succeed today.’

‘It isn’t possible, Tom, because she has left.’

Tom felt the world shift under his feet.

‘She can’t have left.’