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18
Amber
After leaving Frank's office, I didn't think I'd ever felt that light before. It felt like everything was going in the right direction. It made me nervous in a way, because it was almost too perfect, and I was afraid that something was going to come along and change it.
Not only did he forgive me, but he was the type of person that wasn't even going to hold it against me. I knew that once I left his office, it would not even be an issue again. That's just how he was. It was one of the things that I liked best about him, especially now.
It left a lot for me to figure out, though. We were talking about going out for a date tomorrow and then maybe by the weekend, he wanted me to meet Caroline. It was a huge step, and I'm not going to say that we weren't ready for it, but I was a little more nervous than I think I was ready for. I wanted everything to turn out well, but the idea of him having a daughter and me being a part of both of their lives, was a lot for me to take in. A lot. Of course, I always thought about having children, but that was always way off in the future when I had my life straightened out, when I had my fashion house started and I was a household name. That was the only way I figured I was going to have children.
Him having Caroline was, of course, not a problem, really, but it did bring up a lot more questions. If we were going to try and work something out where we were together, I was going to need to make sure that this was what I really wanted. And then I needed to make the decision of where I was going to live. We couldn't be together if I was in the city or if I was in France. I didn't really know what to think or what to do. My body was still raging from our time together, and instead of thinking about any of it, I just went home and took a nap.
I woke up later to Gemma calling me. There was another crisis with one of the clients, and it was becoming clear that someone was going to have to handle things while I was away. Someone had to be there to react.
I just threw a question out, wondering how she was going to take it, and she did not take it well, at all. I was desperately trying to figure it all out, but I knew that I couldn’t be multiple places at once, which seemed like what I needed to be doing. No pressure. I just had to find a way to copy myself.
“How would you feel about relocating?”
“Relocating? What are you talking about? Relocate where?”
When I told her that I was thinking about staying where I was, she actually laughed for a moment. I think that she thought I was joking, but, of course, I wasn’t. I was being very serious, but it was so far from what I would usually do or say, that Gemma just couldn’t believe it. Her reaction made it quite clear where she stood. Obviously, she did not want to relocate in the middle of nowhere. That wasn't too hard to understand.
“What is going on with you? Everything was normal, and then you go back home, and it’s been weird ever since.”
“Let's just say that I got ahold of an old flame, and he is really messing with my head.”
“Well, it makes me nervous when you ask me questions like that. You can't seriously be thinking of staying there. What is going to happen to your brand?”
I was thinking about staying, but I think if I had told her that, she would have passed out on the phone with me. I realized then that I never heard my assistant talk about men at all. It kind of made me curious now, because she clearly did not think a man was worth any sort of relocation. Was I really just being crazy even considering it?
“I don't know what I'm thinking, Gemma. I will talk to the clients and try to get this all straightened out. Not everything has to be done face to face.”
“You are the one that has always told me to see them face to face when possible, so problems can be handled properly.”
It sounded like something that I would say, but obviously it did not work in the current scenario. I hated it when someone used my words against me.
“You’re right, Gemma. I probably did say that, though, I am sure I said something about adapting, as well. This is going to be a change. I have property that I need to take care of here, and instead of selling it, I’m thinking of turning it into something.”
“What happens when you guys break up and you’ve relocated to hick town?”
It was a legitimate question, but one that I wasn’t quite prepared to answer. I didn’t want to think about that. That scenario made my stomach hurt. Gemma was not making me feel better about the situation, at all. She was just basically regurgitating my worst fears back to me, and I can't say that I liked the look of it.
“I don't know, Gemma. I just know that I'm not ready to leave yet. I will try to do as much as I can from here, but maybe we should hire somebody for point to take care of things there. Unless you think you can handle some more responsibilities. You know that I trust you over just about anyone else.”
That changed her tune altogether, especially when she realized that I was completely willing to give a little more money as well. She was going to be picking up part of another job, so I wanted her salary to reflect that. It was about time, anyway, and I'm sorry that it took this situation for me to realize that Gemma was due for a raise.
Now, she was happy, and instead of being the Debbie-Downer that she had started to become, she gave me lots of ideas of how I could make it work where I was. I didn't know how to feel about her complete one-eighty, but I was just going to take it as a good thing. It was easier to take it at face value, than to worry about all the other problems. I had enough to worry about when it came to me and Frank.
Because there was so much in my head and I just needed some time to myself, I went back to Grandad’s house and packed up a few more boxes. It was hard to do so, going piece by piece and remembering each thing that triggered a memory with them. It seemed like it is been so long ago that I had seen him. I hadn't visited enough. If I would have known...
My phone rang a little while later, and I was so engrossed in some love letters between my grandparents, that it made me jump. My phone was all the way across the room and I just let it ring. I was just going to get it later.
It started ringing again and still I ignored it. There wasn't anybody that I wanted to talk to besides Frank, and he usually worked pretty late. Now that everything was out in the open, it was going to take me time to realize and adapt to the fact that he already had a family. It was small, granted, but it was still his own. I needed to learn how to work around it.
The man on my mind was at the door about ten minutes later and he didn't even knock. Instead, he strode right to the room I was in and told me that I wasn't leaving.
“What?”
“You can't just come into my life and then leave again. I won't let you do it.”
