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Jim sighed, and I could almost picture him pinching the bridge of his nose. “He wouldn’t let me see you,” he said again. “He practically banned me from the entire hospital.”
My heart sank into my stomach, a sense of unworthiness washing over me.
“You’re a grown man,” I said, anger and hurt coloring my tone.
“What?”
“You are a grown man,” I repeated the words, tears forming in the backs of my eyes. “Hell, you’re a police officer, and you let my father keep you away?” I shook my head, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“He wouldn’t let me—”
“Fuck him, Jim!” I snapped, my entire heart breaking in two. “I would’ve fought. I would’ve raised hell if someone had tried to keep me from you.” I sucked in a sharp breath. “But that’s always been our problem, hasn’t it?” I swiped at the tears on my cheeks. “I’m not worth fighting for. I never have been and I clearly never will be.”
“Anne,” he said my name like a prayer, but it did nothing to stop the ice forming around my heart.
“Goodbye, Jim.” I hung up the phone before he could say another word, and crumbled into a million pieces, sobs tearing out of me.
“Anne,” Sephie’s voice was kind and supportive as she hurried to my bedside, wrapping her arms around me.
“I’m never going to be enough,” I cried into her shoulder, clinging to my sister like she could help hold me together. “I have way too much baggage.”
“Shh,” Sephie hushed me, smoothing back my hair. “I know that’s not what Jim said.”
“He may as well have,” I said, shaking my head as I tried to take deep breaths to get my shit together. “He let Father push him around—”
“I wasn’t here for that,” she said. “I jumped on the first plane out here.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said. “I’m fine.”
“I can see that,” she said, arching a brow to indicate the legit hospital bed I was in.
I laughed a dark, broken laugh, and she joined in.
“What if it’s true though, Sephie?” I asked. “What if I really am never enough? What if I’m not worth the fight?” I shrugged. “I guess it would be pretty fitting though, right? I’ve been a terrible person. I treated you like shit for years for a situation you had nothing to do with,” I said. “In what world should I be allowed to have someone like him love me?”
“Oh, I guess I should’ve worn my cocktail dress,” Sephie said.
“What?” I asked, gaping at her.
“For your pity party,” she shrugged at my shocked look. “Well, you are,” she said. “Because you know that isnonsenseabout not deserving his love. And I told you I understood the strain between us, even if you couldn’t elaborate.”
I’d explained to her that something had made me act out against her, but that it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me a couple of weeks ago.
“You’re working through your past, Anne,” she continued. “And it has no power over your future. Not unless you decide it does.”
I straightened up, giving her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m all for wallowing in misery if that is what you need, but I don’t really think it is.”
“It isn’t,” I said. “I’m just…”
“Upset,” she finished for me. “Understandably. But most of that blame needs to go to our father.”
“I know—”
“Hello, Anne,” the doctor said as he walked into the room, my chart in his hand. “You gave us quite the scare there.”
My father and mother followed him into the room, and it was all I could do to not go off. I wouldn’t cause a scene though, foronce.
