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“Which wasn’t necessarily a good thing,” she pointed out as she wrapped her arms around me. “Everything will be okay, Vanna. I promise. Getting your head back together is the hardest part.”
I wrapped my arms around my best friend and hugged her hard.
“I’m not even sure if I’m the same person anymore,” I muttered.
“You are the same intelligent, brave, talented woman you were before,” Torie argued. “I think going through this kind of nightmare changes everyone to some extent, but you’re still the Vanna I know and love. You said those same words to me when I was still recovering. I made it, Vanna. Granted, I’m a little different and slightly more wary, but even stronger than I was before. This won’t change the core of who you are.”
As I continued to cry, I wondered what I would have done without Torie and Chase.
I’d spent most of my adult life running around the world chasing stories, and I had no close family left.
“Do you know how lucky I feel to have you as a best friend?” I asked her tearfully.
She chuckled a little as she continued to hug me tight. “That’s because I haven’t really been a pain in your ass yet. You’ve never been around long enough for that to happen,” she cautioned. “I’ve missed you so much, Vanna. I’m glad you’re home.”
I’d missed her, too. More than she’d probably ever know because she was really all I had other than my co-workers, and I really wasn’t personally that close to any of them.
“I missed you, and I’m glad to be home, too,” I said earnestly.
Strangely enough, I truly meant those words.
After a decade of traveling continuously, and a horrific experience that had nearly taken my life, there wasn’t anywhere else I wanted to be.
Chase
“Ithought I heard Vanna crying when I went upstairs earlier,” I said to Torie as she walked into my home office.
I’d known that my sister was with Vanna, and I hadn’t wanted to interrupt, but I was concerned.
“She was,” my sister said vaguely as she sat down in a chair in front of my desk. “I doubt that’s something you haven’t seen before. You spent a lot of time with her while she was recovering in Panama, and now here.”
I shook my head, my chest tightening at the thought of Vanna being in so much pain that she was actually…crying. “Honestly, I haven’t seen her shed a tear since she’s been here. It was even rare during her recovery in the hospital.”
I wasn’t sure if I should be worried or offended that Vanna couldn’t share that sorrow with me. After all, I was her advisor.
“She’s fine,” Torie said lightly. “She’s in the gym doing her physical therapy.”
I frowned. “Are you sure she’s okay?”
I’d seen Vanna troubled.
I’d seen her frightened.
I’d seen every sign of her PTSD that still seemed to be bothering her.
I’d realized shortly after she’d arrived back home that I couldn’t approach her from behind because it would sometimes cause a flashback.
She talked to me as her advisor about her kidnapping. I couldn’t complain about her lack of candidness. But I couldn’t help but think that she might be leaving out some things that didn’t involve her kidnapping. Of course, I really hadn’t gone there with her, either.
Torie nodded. “She will be okay, and Vanna rarely cries. You know it takes a while to work through what happened. I think she’s scared.”
“Of what?” I asked. “I’m doing everything I can to protect her.”
She shook her head slowly. “It’s not just that. You have to understand that Vanna dedicated her entire life to her career. She was starting to burn out, even before she was kidnapped. She never really talked about it before the kidnapping, but I could tell. She was emotionally and physically exhausted. Constantly being thrown into the worst things that can happen to people over and over is soul sucking, and Vanna never gave herself a chance to pause. She never experienced fun or relaxing things in her life. God, she’s never even taken a real vacation since she became an adult. The only time off she ever took was to take care of me.”
“I didn’t know that,” I told her remorsefully.
Torie’s information made me wonder whether Vanna really took a few days in Vegas to sit by the pool or to go to the spa. Knowing her like I did now, I was pretty sure she probably worked in her hotel room until it was time to move to her next assignment.
