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I felt exactly the same way.
Savannah
“I’m not sure that Chase really wants to be with me anymore,” I told Torie two weeks later on a Saturday afternoon. “I swore I’d never discuss any problems Chase and I ever had with you, but you’re my best friend. I wanted you to know that we might not stay together.”
I’d lamented for a week over mentioning something to her, but in the end, I knew I needed to talk tosomeone.
Chase certainly wasn’t talking, and Axel wasn’t good with romance advice.
Torie and I were so close, and I felt so incredibly miserable. We’d always been there for each other at the best and darkest times of our lives. Right now, mine was the latter.
Chase had gone to a rare Saturday meeting at Durand, and Cooper was out running, so Torie had stopped by with Milo to chat.
I had pulled some snacks and soft drinks out of the fridge and we’d sat down at the kitchen table as Axel and Milo played outside.
Her eyes were dark with concern as she answered, “Vanna, we’ve been best friends almost our entire lives. Chase might be my brother, but he’s also your boyfriend. Talk to me. Did something happen?”
I shook my head slowly as I shared, “I’m not even sure what happened. We didn’t argue. He just put up some kind of wall between us. He asks me how I’m doing every day, but he’s really distant, emotionally and physically. Chase hasn’t touched me since I got home from the hospital. I’ve never seen him like this, and the more I try to talk to him, the more he backs away.”
Tears filled my eyes and they began to flow steadily down my cheeks. Having Chase step back from our relationship instead of forward was killing me. Especially when I had no idea why it was happening. I couldn’t fix something I didn’t understand.
And God, I reallywantedto fix it. I missed him so much that it was tearing my heart to shreds.
“Wait,” Torie said as she frowned. “So nothing weird preceded this distance at all?”
“Nothing,” I said as I pulled a handful of potato chips from the bag. “We didn’t even have a small disagreement. He still eats dinner with me when he gets home from work, but he’s quiet. Once he’s done, he goes into the gym while I stress eat in the evening. At the rate I’m consuming junk food, I won’t be able to fit into my jeans anymore within a day or two.”
Torie popped the top on a Diet Coke. “When guys work out excessively, they’re either cheating or frustrated,” she said thoughtfully. “Since I’m positive Chaseisn’ta cheater, I’d say something else is bothering him.”
My eyes flew to her face as I swiped the tears from my cheeks. “You don’t think there’s someone else?” I asked, knowing even as I asked that question that there almost certainly wasn’t.
Chase wasn’t the type. At all.
I may not know what was wrong, but I still trusted him.
Torie rolled her eyes. “Are you joking? He loves you in a way that’s pretty much obsessive. There’s no room in his brain for another female. I’d say he’s definitely frustrated.”
I swallowed the chips I’d stuffed into my mouth before I answered, “I’m starting to feel the same way.”
“He won’t talk to you about it at all?” Torie questioned.
“Nope,” I said after I’d washed down those chips with some soda. I instantly grabbed another handful. “He says everything is okay when I ask him what’s wrong. But everything isnotokay. He usually talks to me about everything. Which tells me his problem is withme.”
“Not necessarily,” Torie mused. “Or at least, not directly. I honestly don’t think Chase has ever been in love. Yeah, he’s been fond of other women in the past. But I’m wondering if he just doesn’t know how to handle all this. Give him some time, Vanna. If he doesn’t snap out of it, smack him upside the head to knock some sense into him. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and I think he knows that.”
“He hasn’t ever said that he loves me, Torie,” I confided.
She nearly choked on her Diet Coke. She coughed before she shot me a seriously-are-you-joking expression. “I’m surprised he hasn’t,” she shared. “But no one can look at Chase when he’s with you and doubt that he loves you for even a single moment. Have you told him how you feel?”
I shook my head. “I’ve wanted to, but it always felt like it was too soon. And then he started putting this distance between the two of us. When I got home from the hospital, I’d all but decided to just tell him that I love him. If there’s one thing I learned from that attempted murder experience, it’s that life is too short not to tell someone you love them. But I’m pretty certain it isn’t something he wants to hear right now.”
Torie snorted. “I doubt that. I think he just feels guilty about what happened. You know my brothers are always willing to take the blame for anything that happens to someone they care about. First, you were kidnapped and nearly died. Then, you were almost killed because of a madman with a vendetta against Wyatt and Chase. My brothers have always been the type of guys who analyze things a little too much.”
I opened the bag of chocolate cookies and took a few. “If that’s true, then I’m not handling the way he’s pushing me away while he does that,” I grumbled and took a bite out of a cookie.
“Then make him listen to you, Vanna,” Torie suggested. “You’re far from a meek and mild type of woman. Get in his face and make sure he’s hearing you.”
No, I generally wasn’t the kind of female who hesitated to make my opinions known when it was important. Then again, I’d never been in love like this before. I wanted to respect his space, but enough was enough.
