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“You’re a woman who has always known what you wanted,” Torie contemplated as she got up and crouched beside me. “I’m not going to interfere, and you know I’m going to support what you do either way. Just think about confronting him before you make that move, okay? At least you’ll know you tried.”
I nodded right before I hugged her tightly, beyond grateful once again that this woman was my best friend.
Chase
“Ican’t fucking do this,” I said to Wyatt after the CEOs we’d been meeting with had all filed out of the conference room to go home.
He lifted a brow. “What? You mean sign this contract that you’ve hardly even looked at over the last few hours?”
Okay, I knew I’d been inattentive all afternoon. It was because all I could think about was… “Vanna. I can’t do this.”
Wyatt was sitting directly across from me at the conference table. He leaned back in his chair before he said, “Yeah, I figured. You certainly weren’t here at this meeting today. Don’t be stupid, Chase. Of course you’re going to keep doing it. You love her. Maybe I don’t understand that kind of extreme lunacy. But I recognize it. I’ve seen it all over Hudson, Jax, and Cooper’s faces over the last year or two.”
“I nearly got her killed, Wyatt,” I said sharply, every muscle in my body tight. “Do you have any idea how I felt when I knew Kruger was going to slit her throat at any second? I can’t do that again. I can’t live with the fact that she’s in danger every day that she stays with me.”
I’d been like this for two weeks. Wondering whether Vanna would be safer if shewasn’tmy girlfriend. Thinking that if I’d just let her go, she’d wouldn’t be in that kind of danger.
Wyatt let out a disgusted breath. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, you’re not an idiot, Chase. Pull yourself back into the real world for just a moment. Neither one of you are going to die. If you’ve been this distracted at home, she’s probably ready to kill you herself.”
“We haven’t really talked since she got home from the hospital,” I admitted. “I’ve been working out. A lot.”
He snorted. “So you retreat to the gym like a recluse every night to try to work off your frustration? Now I’m really shocked that Vanna hasn’t slapped you silly. I suppose you haven’t said a word to her about this plan to leave her alone.”
“I can’t…exactly tell her. I’ve tried to work up the guts to do it,” I answered. “Fuck! It’s nearly impossible for me to give her up.”
“You won’t have to if you keep treating her like this,” Wyatt grumbled. “She’ll leave your sorry ass if you keep ignoring her for long enough. She’s not the kind of woman who will put up with that bullshit forever. What in the hell is wrong with you? There’s a risk in being with anyone. You inherit any crazy friends or family they might have.”
“She almost died, Wyatt,” I said, my voice harsh and irritated.
He rolled his eyes. “She almost died when some assholes decided to kidnap her, too. Was that your fault—was that because she was your girlfriend? No. No, it wasn’t. You’re being totally unreasonable, Chase. Just marry the woman and get it over with. I have a theory about the whole marriage thing.”
“I actually have an engagement ring,” I muttered. “I was going to ask her when we got home from the restaurant the night of the attack. Do I really want to hear this theory?”
He picked up an ink pen and rolled it around in his fingers. “Probably not, but I think I’m right after watching three other men lose their minds over a female before you. Every one of them calmed down a littleafterthey got married. Before that, they were a mess. There’s something about the uncertaintybeforethey make that final commitment that makes them lose their minds. Fuck knows that I couldn’t wait until Torie and Cooper got married so they could just get down to the business of everyday life again. Just marry Vanna and get it over with. You won’t be happy until you do.”
I let out a bark of laughter without a hint of humor in it. “You really think it’s that easy?”
“I do,” he returned smugly. “Apparently, this madness doesn’t mix well with any kind of indecision. Marry her, make a vow that you’ll always be together etc. etc., and the torture will be over.”
“You’re wrong,” I informed him. “I wanted Vanna to marry me because I wanted her to know that I was ready to commit to her and only to her. Okay, maybe I just selfishly wanted her to be mine, too, in the most permanent way possible. I suppose it’s not always a life decision because divorce would always be an option for her, but I would have felt better if she’d said yes. I don’t fucking know why. Hell, maybe I was afraid she’d wake up one day and realize she made a huge mistake. Or that all that happiness would be fleeting for her. Or that she didn’t really care enough about me to even make a lifelong commitment. Itistorture. I feel like a Neanderthal who’s determined to keep his mate, come hell or high water, which is why I can’t fucking let her go. That’s not attractive in a modern male, but I can’t seem to fight those primitive instincts, even though I know she’d probably be safer without me.”
“Would she?” Wyatt questioned in an irritatingly dry tone.
“I think so,” I said defensively. “There’s no end to the enemies we’ve made in the past. Maybe there’s even some we don’t know about. And then there’s still Dad’s enemies, too.”
“She was kidnapped in the Darien jungle, Chase, and she nearly died,” he reminded me. “Vanna also suffered far more injury with that kidnapping incident than she did from that momentary situation with Kruger. And unless I’m mistaken, which I never am, you two weren’t even dating at the time of her kidnapping. In fact, she would have been dead already if you hadn’t risked your own ass to go in and save her. Like I said, be reasonable.”
“I can’t,” I said tightly. “I’m fucking paralyzed with fear that something will happen to her after the Kruger incident.”
“We’ve been through a lot of life-threatening situations. We were special forces. You’ve never flinched at the thought of throwing your ass into a dangerous situation.”
“This isn’t aboutme,” I said angrily. “It’s abouther.”
“Really?” Wyatt said with feigned astonishment. “Because it certainly sounds like you’re being a selfish dickhead. Did it ever occur to you that what you’re doingright nowis hurting Vanna? Go ahead and push her away, but you’ll end up being the sorriest bastard on Earth when everything is said and done. Much as I hate to say it because I don’t believe in all this sentimental bullshit, you two obviously belong together, and if you lose her to this craziness, you’ll always regret it.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I questioned as I shot him a withering glance. “She’s always been the one for me, but I’m not so sure that I’m the guysheshould end up with.”
“Because you’re not good enough? Because she’d be safer with someone else? Because she might be happier or more secure with a guy who has a lower profile?” he inquired. “I rest my case on my theory. Marry her.”
