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“So, you don’t just bet away all your money but love to buy things too,” she teased.
“I didn’t grow up rich, so now I’m enjoying what I have.”
“Letting Amon provide for you.”
He growled threateningly, though it wasn’t serious.
“How did you grow up?”
“How about we cuddle, and I tell you?”
Instead of answering him, she twirled out of his hug and crawled into bed.
Silas appeared in the door frame. “May I join?”
“Always,” she said cheerfully, before turning to Rayen. “Unless you don’t want to?”
“What you want, I want too.”
They both laid next to her, cuddling her close. Silently, Amon walked into the room and sat on Rayen’s desk chair. He was met with dark glares from both Rayen and Silas, but neither said a word. She wasn’t one-hundred percent certain but assumed it had something to do with Amon walking out on her earlier.
Tilting her head, she looked up at Rayen. “So how did you grow up?”
“I was an orphan, living worse than the rats on the street. I was left at the orphanage shortly after my birth, without note or reason. Most women did so with bastards. I was starved most of my life and when I was old enough to survive on my own, I was pushed out onto the streets.”
Gwen cuddled closer to him, wanting to comfort him but also herself.
“I hated my life, wanting so much more for myself, but without means I wasn’t able to get to where I needed to be. I survived by stealing for many years, but it was tough, a daily struggle to survive the harsh environments. After many years of fighting and battling, I came across a man in the midst of the night. It was so dark all I could see were his red eyes. He drew my attention because he was under attack by four beggars, just like me. I thought he would go down and be battered to death for his jewels. I was hoping to get some of them too, but in a blink of an eye all four men laid beneath him, their throats ripped out.”
She froze as the images of the dark alley she’d been in less than a week ago flooded her mind. Silas had done the exact same thing.
“What did you do?” she asked with a shaking voice as she tried to banish those pictures from her mind.
“Oh you know, I walked up to him and offered myself to him.” Rayen tried to make it sound amusing but there was a serious tone underlying his words.
She jerked up and looked down at him. “What?” she gasped in disbelief.
“I told him I wanted to be like him. He laughed and sunk his fangs into me, draining me of all my blood before replacing it with his venom.”
“Why would you do something that stupid?”
He chuckled and pulled her back down to his chest. “I was at my lowest, little bird. My life had no purpose. I was starving every second of the day. I couldn’t sleep, afraid someone would cut my throat for the rags that I wore as clothes. Seeing that man easily take down three grown men was intriguing. I wanted to be him, I wanted to have his strength and power.”
“He could have killed you,” she whispered.
“He would’ve done me a favor.” He started running his fingers through her hair while Silas hugged her tighter from behind. “He left me in the alley, probably thinking I wouldn’t survive the venom, but I did. After awakening, I felt like a god. Finally, no one had anything on me. I killed and fed on all that had done me wrong without remorse. I stole, though I didn’t really need the gold. I took what I wanted, when I wanted because I could.”
She had trouble imagining her soft, funny bear being a monster, a killer. Of course, she knew what he and the other two were, but she just couldn’t imagine them any different from how she knew them. Again, the pictures of her assault flooded her mind, and the beast that Silas had unlocked within him that night. A ruthless side that had murdered without thought. Not just that, but he’d known exactly how to dispose of those bodies.
She sat up again and looked down at Rayen, studying his face. He seemed calm, peaceful, though she could also see worry. He stayed silent as if he was insecure what to do now. Silas tensed up next to her his hand resting on her thigh. He didn’t move and seemed just as insecure as Rayen.
“What made you stop?” Her voice was chillier than she’d intended.
“I grew up.” He reached out to her, taking her hand in his. “I’m not the same man anymore.”
“You resented the world, so you made it pay?”
“Yes, I finally had power and misused it. I had already calmed when I met Amon, but he was the one who grounded me.”
