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Logan texted me earlier to say he’d spoken to him this morning like we’d agreed and asked him to investigate further into my mother receiving threats.
“Okay, that’s good. Maybe?”
He nods. “Unfortunately, this means you’ll have to open the brown envelope sooner than you thought.”
I swallow hard, then stand up. “Come on then, we’ll do it together ... and maybe you should pour me a glass of whiskey too.”
He smiles as he stands, then taking my hand, he leads me over toward the dining table.
Logan pours me a drink, then comes to stand by my side while I open the envelope, a couple of A4 sheets fall out. What immediately catches my attention is the photo of the woman. Her face is as I remember, just older obviously. But what I never expected to see is her hunched thin shoulders barely holding onto an ill-fitting shirt. Her hair which was once thick and long like mine, is now roughly cut into a short boyish style.
My mother was once heralded as a beautiful woman amongst the high standards of beauty in Hollywood. Now she looks like she’s one step away from living on the street. Tears spill down my cheeks, dropping onto the papers in my hand.
Logan’s arm comes around me and I lean into him. I don’t know if I have the strength to read about the life of the stranger in the photo, the woman I once called my mother.
But I straighten my shoulders, and with Logan’s arm around me, I read.
Chapter twenty-eight
Logan
Todd’s request to meet with Allie and me tonight was delivered in his usual calm manner, not giving a lot away. Although he made it clear that what he has for us is important. I’m glad, because I’d hoped we’d have some news before the holidays.
In two days, I’m driving Katie to the beach house to spend the holidays with our family, and the day after Allie is flying to the UK to spend Christmas with Sarah. I wanted her to be with me for the holidays, but she misses her friend and the arrangement with Sarah has been planned for months. Way before the threatening texts and way before us.
She’s promised me that we’ll spend New Year’s Eve together, and I’ll just have to be happy with that.
She’s a strong independent woman, something I’ve always known and loved about her, so there’s not really any argument I can make. Even if I’ll worry about her safety and hate every second of the eight days we’ll be apart. How did I ever survive not seeing her for months on end?
The answer of course is that back then I didn’t know I loved her. I want to tell her but with the current situation, the timing just doesn’t feel right. She’s under enough stress, and after just opening the envelope of information on her mother, she looks to be struggling even more.
She was so quiet that I convinced her to take a hot bath in the big tub in my bathroom. I filled it with steamy bubbles, dimmed the lights, and added one of the aromatic candles she bought weeks ago. I hope when she emerges she’ll feel better able to cope with meeting Todd in about two hours’ time.
I pick up the large fluffy bath towels from the bed, walk over to the door, and knock lightly. “Allie, can I come in?”
Her muffled response comes back to me, and I walk in. “I brought you some towels,” I offer lamely. I’m coming to realize how ill-equipped I am to comfort her. There’s so much hurt she’s suffered at the hands of her parents; I don’t know how I can help.
She looks at me with eyes still swimming with tears. “Will you hold me?” she asks with her hand outstretched. My jaw drops, she wants me to join her. Here I was thinking she’d rather be left alone.
I quickly strip off my clothes and climb into the tub behind her. She leans back against my chest, and I wrap my arms around her.
Sometimes she is so brave and strong but then there are times like now when her fragility makes me want to battle the world to keep her safe.
“Are you okay?” I ask. I know I’m constantly asking her the same question, but it’s only because I don’t trust my ability to pick up on the subtlety of the emotions that skim across her face. I don’t want to miss the important stuff. I want Allie to tell me the important stuff. Not so I can take over, I’ve learned my lesson with that. But so I can be there for her, support her however she needs me.
She sighs before replying, “Not really. But I will be now that I’m in your arms.” My heart swells and I drop a light kiss on her shoulder.
“Logan, you make everything feel better. I feel safe when you hold me. I feel brave when you stand beside me … and I feel loved when you’re constantly reminding me to stay vigilant.” I can’t see her face, but I hear the smile in her voice.
“Sunshine, you are loved, which is why I worry about you when you’re not with me.” She twists in my arms so she’s straddling my thighs. I’ve never been more grateful than now for having fitted the large two-person tub.
Her emerald eyes search my darker ones. “Sooo … you do love me?”
I might have thought earlier the timing wasn’t right to tell her that I love her, but I was wrong. Now is the perfect time. “I’ve always loved you, Allie.” I tell her my truth for the first time and her face lights up. Her beautiful eyes sparkle with the light from the flame of the candle on the shelf beside us. Her smile stretches her full lips wide. I love this beautiful, clever, brave woman.
“Always? Wow … you kept that well hidden,” she teases.
I laugh. “Yeap, the assholery as you liked to call it, was just my cover.” I scoop up some bubbles from between us and pop them on her nose before pulling her in for a deep, heart-banging kiss.
