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“I’m fine, ma’am. Hope you are too. Is Erin here?”
She frowns. “No, she… Josh, she left this afternoon.”
I blink at her, trying to make sense of the announcement. Left for where? The grocery store? Or left for…
“She went back to San Antonio,” Dr. Toomey says.
My heart drops into my stomach. San Antonio? Really? Why would she leave without telling me? Did I mess up that badly?
“I’m sorry, I must have missed the memo,” I mumble, trying to keep my voice level. “Do you know when she’ll be back?”
Even as I ask the question, I know how stupid it is, and I already know the answer. Erin won’t be coming back. I pushed her away, and she wants nothing to do with this town or me ever again.
Her mother gives me a sympathetic look. “I’m not sure, Josh. She has a new job, and she needed to go back for it. The two of you didn’t discuss this? I thought things were going so well.”
My mind is racing as I try to come up with a response. I can’t tell her mother the truth — that I messed up and didn’t even have the chance to apologize.
Instead, I force a smile. “We did talk about it, but I didn’t realize she was leaving so soon.”
Dr. Toomey nods, her expression still full of concern. “Well, I’m sorry you missed each other. But I’m sure Erin will be in touch soon. She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
I nod, but I know in my heart that Erin has already said her goodbye. My mind replays all the moments I wish I could take back, all the times I pushed her away when I should have been holding on tighter.
As I make my way back to my truck, I can feel the weight of my mistake pressing down on me like a heavy stone.
I hit the gas and tear out of there, my world spinning out of control. I wanted to make things right, but now I don’t even know where to start. Erin has already made her choice.
She’s gone.
Forever.
CHAPTER 23
ERIN
“What do you think?” Sakina asks as we walk through the new practice’s empty rooms.
“It’s… nice.”
I can’t think of anything else to say. I wish I could add something else, but that feels like a Herculean task. I’m sure the space really is nice, but right now I can’t even find it in myself to appreciate anything.
Leaving Fort Williams was the right choice, and I don’t regret making it. Ever since coming back to the city, though, I’ve been in a funk.
More than a funk. I’ve been depressed. No amount of excitement over a new practice can lift this weight off my chest. My mind keeps going back to Josh and what happened between us. I don’t know how to move on from him.
Sakina must sense my mood because she puts a hand on my arm. “Hey, are you okay?”
I force a smile. She’s a good boss and a kind woman, but I know better than to cry on her arm. Work boundaries are important.
“I’m fine,” I say.
“You’re not feeling stressed again, are you? It’s all right if you are. You can tell me.”
I shake my head. “I haven’t even started work yet.”
“The anticipation could be stress enough.”
I wish she wouldn’t look at me like that — like she’s questioning whether or not she made the right choice selecting me for this job.
