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Everything about him haunts me, and I’m terrified that there will never come a time in my life when I won’t think about him. I’m terrified that even though he was a jerk in the end, I’ll always see him as the one who got away.
Eventually, exhaustion overtakes me, and I fall into a deep sleep.
Except I’m not asleep. Not really.
I’m walking through a dense forest, the leaves crunching beneath my feet. The air is thick with the scent of pine and damp earth. As I walk, I hear a faint sound in the distance, a soft crunching that grows louder with each passing moment.
Suddenly, I’m standing in a clearing, and there he is — Josh. He’s standing in front of me, his blue eyes piercing into mine.
“I’m sorry, Erin,” he says, his voice low and filled with regret. “I messed up. But I want to make it right.”
I feel a warmth spread through my chest, and I realize that I’m smiling. “How?” I ask.
He takes a step closer to me, his hand reaching out to touch my cheek. “By being there for you. By loving you the way you deserve to be loved.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I take his hand, feeling the roughness of his palm against my skin. “I don’t know if I can trust you again.”
“I understand,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine. “But I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”
I lean into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against my skin. For a moment, I’m lost in the familiar feeling of him, the way he made me feel safe and loved.
I press closer to him, aching for him, needing him. But then, all of a sudden, he’s gone. I wake up from what was just a dream.
I’m left alone in my bed, and the warmth of Josh’s touch vanishes like a wisp of smoke. I curl up under the blankets, feeling more alone than ever before. The tears come, and there’s nothing gentle or quiet about them. I cry and cry, and the next thing I know, early morning light is streaming through the window and someone is ringing my doorbell.
Sitting up straight, my head pounding, I grab my bathrobe. Before I even open my bedroom door, though, I hear Riley talking to someone.
My curiosity piqued, I walk towards the front door, wondering who it could be. As I approach, I hear a deep, familiar voice. It’s Josh.
All the emotions come to the surface at once — anger, confusion, and a small glimmer of hope. I hesitate at the end of the hallway. I don’t know what he’s doing at my apartment, but I can’t do this. I can’t face him right now, when I’m still in a million pieces after what happened between us.
I turn away, but I bump into a frame on the hallway wall. It crashes to the floor, and the apartment goes quiet.
“Erin?” Josh calls.
“Hey!” There’s the sound of Riley running after him. “You can’t just come in here.”
But suddenly here he is, right in front of me, staring at me with those eyes that always take my breath away. There’s no more running, no more waiting.
We’re doing this, and it’s happening right now.
CHAPTER 26
JOSH
“What are you doing here?” Erin narrows her eyes.
“I… wanted to see you.” The answer sounds so lame. I know I need to say more, but right now I can’t find the words.
Even though she’s staring at me like she’s about to kick me out, I’m so happy to see her again. The fact that she’s clearly just woken up, and her hair is tangled and there are bags under her eyes, somehow makes her even sexier.
Or maybe she’s sexy because she’s real. She’s right here in front of me.
God, I really messed up with her, didn’t I? I was such an idiot.
And that’s why I drove through the night to see her. I needed to apologize, to explain myself.
Now that I’m looking at her, though, it’s like my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. I can’t get the words out.
