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I bristled. “I’m not like him,” I said, a sharpness to my tone I hadn’t been able to help.
Gadriel shook her head. “No one’s saying that you are.” She paused. “But, I mean, I’m sure you can see it now, right?”
“See what?”
“It probably all wasn’t as black and white as we were told.”
“Wait, what are you talking about?”
Gadriel turned her gaze back to the city. “If you don’t get it now, you will soon enough.” Another pause. “I just wanted to thank you... for sticking with me, and not leaving me alone. You could’ve left me to rot in that cell, and I wouldn’t have thought any less of you.”
“I… couldn’t. Gadriel, how could I? I tried to get you released. I tried everything, and when nothing worked, I did the only thing I thought I could do.”
“You tried to stage a prison break, but you got caught, and now look at you. I’m proud of you.”
“How can you possibly be proud of me? I broke the rules, and then I failed.”
“You were my commander, my Lightbringer. I have raced around this Earth thousands of times because you asked me to, and I’ve done it without hesitation. I knew you cared about me, just as you cared about everyone else in the squad. But it wasn’tuntil I saw you thrown into that prison cell next to mine that I knew, you didn’t just care—you also understood me.”
“Of course, I cared. I still care. I’m here because…” I trailed off, then shook my head. “I mean, I guess we’re all here because Heaven broke.”
Gadriel smirked. “Another couple of years of torture, and I may have made it here, too.”
“Years?”
“That’s how long I spent in the cells. You did, too. Time passed differently up there, remember?”
I remembered.
The cells underneath the Chantry Building were close to the mouth of the Pit, and the closer you were to the Pit… well, time didn’t move the same way there as it did throughout the rest of Heaven—or even here. Was I really in there for years? Years spent in Medrion’scare.
“Medrion is the ultimate faker, a sinner,” she said, “He is everything anyone has ever accused Lucifer of being and worse, masquerading as an angel and now a leader.”
I frowned at Gadriel. “How did you know I was thinking about Medrion?”
“This is a dream. I know what you’re thinking.”
“It doesn’t feel like a dream. I feel like you’re here, like I can ask you anything.”
“So, ask me.”
“I… where are you now?” I asked.
“You know where I am,” she said. “And it’s not your fault. I told you… I was able to know real, true love. I don’t regret anything, except that you got hurt because of me.”
“I would do it again. In a heartbeat.”
Another half-smile. “I know you would. It’s who you are… you shouldn’t fight it, not when you know you’re right.”
“I don’t… I mean, I don’t think I know more than God.”
“Sure, you do.”
“I’m not like him,” I repeated.
“It’s okay. If She really hadn’t wanted us to think for ourselves, God would’ve made us like She made the Cherubs. Poor bastards.”
“Since when did you use the word bastard?”
