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I felt the heat rush to my neck and cheeks. Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed for the water and took a long sip to distract myself.
“So you told everyone in the castle that you are taking me away to basically have sex with me over and over again?” And then another thought hit me. “And everyone believed that?”
Sie shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Well, after they thought we destroyed our bedroom the first night, it didn’t take much convincing when I told them that if they wanted their castle still standing, it would be best for us to go away for a little bit.”
My mouth dropped open before anger took over me. “You weren’t going to tell me about this, were you? You were going to let the entire castle think we are on some sort of sick fucking spree while you kept me in the dark?” I gritted my teeth, trying my best to keep my hands at my side and not smack him across the face.
“Fucking spree?” he laughed but stopped once he realized how seriously furious I was. “I wasn’t planning on telling you because I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I didn’t want you to think that you had to sleep with me. It’s not a big deal, Scotlind.” Then he got up from his seat and walked over to the edge of the lake. Our wedding was only a couple of days ago, but it felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since then. I didn’t know how long our blood would stay in each other’s systems, but if Sie felt his telepathy stronger with me… I swallowed as I realized that we still had some time to complete the bond if we wanted to, and now I was alone with him in the middle of nowhere.
“Who do you think Kole is working for?” I asked Sie, not wanting to discuss the blood bond any further.
Sie walked back over to the fire to sit down next to me. “It has to be someone of power to be able to get Kole released from the dungeons earlier and to give him an arsenal of men and weapons. I think it’s someone from the High Council. The problem is figuring out how many.”
“Do you think it’s Synder Phillips?” I asked.
“Possibly. That’s what Peter thinks, and what he is trying to find out now,” he sighed. “But we need proof. I also think it’s bigger than just Tennebris.”
“What do you mean?”
“The night Kole first attacked you, I beat him up badly. Then afterward, when you were with Peter, I went back to the dungeons.” He looked into the fire. The expression on his face seemed remorseful. “I did things to him that I’m not proud of. I was furious with what he’d done to you and desperately tried to figure out who he was working for. I tortured him all night, and it wasn’t pretty.”
I shuddered. Kole mentioned Sie coming to his dungeon cell, but I didn’t know the details. If it was anything like what Kole had done to us, I knew it was awful. It made sense why Kole was so set on vengeance. He never liked me to begin with, but if Sie did all that—
“Kole shouldn’t have been able to stand for months after what I did to him. I know some time had passed since that night, but…” He stopped. Swallowed. “Hell, I don’t even know if he should have still been alive, but yet…”
I finished for him, “He was fine.” Kole didn’t have a scratch on him when I was still limping from the one cut he gave me that same night.
“Exactly,” Sie continued. “The only people who possess that kind of healing powers are from Lux. And they have to be extremely powerful healers. Most of the Luxian healers that Tennebris has access to can just speed up the process of healing like Moli. But powerful ones who reside in Lux have such strong abilities that they can completely heal your wounds. On top of that, Kole also had Alluse. Complete Alluse like the necklace I gave you is hard to come by, but Vir and Sui Alluse…” Sie shuddered. “I fear that whoever in the castle is facilitating this has the support from the Advenians of Lux, if not the Lux King himself.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as he went on. “There is someone at the castle who knows about you now. Who knows you are from Lux, and yet, they let us go. They let us live that night. We just walked out of the warehouse. You saw the mess. Kole’s men were brutalized. We shouldn’t have survived, Scotlind. The question is why and when they plan to use that knowledge. It’s only a matter of time before someone else discovers what you are, and it’s going to be hard to keep that a secret.” He paused. “It’s going to be hard to protect you.”
Suddenly his insistence on training made sense.
“Do you think Kole is alive?” I asked. We’d left the warehouse in such a rush, but I didn’t remember seeing his body among the dead.
“I do. I scanned the warehouse. He wasn’t there. I need you to tell me everything, Scottie. Tell me everything about how you got here and what you know. Why are you Luxian and living in Tennebris?”
I looked at Sie, and for the first time since I came here eleven years ago, I spoke about my past. The normal urge to swallow everything back was gone and I told him everything, from the little bit I remembered of Lux, the night those strange males came into my room, to waking up on the black-sanded beach. I told him about the lies they told me about my parents dying in a fire. I told him about how I kept this a secret and never told anyone about it except the one counselor who threatened me. I told him about my time at LakeWood, why I chose the guard, and how everyone called me a nix. I told him about my past with Kole and how he’d always despised me, how he’d compelled me to do awful things. I told him everything up until how I ended up here with him.
Sie didn’t interrupt me once. He let me get everything out, listening intently. When I finished, I let out a ragged breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, finally letting all my secrets out and no longer keeping them buried.
I didn’t notice the tears slipping down my cheeks until Sie gently wiped them away, then kissed each one. “You never told anyone that?” he asked hesitantly. “Not even Miles or Vallie?”
I shook my head. “No one. You’re the only person I ever told that to. After the counselor threatened me with treason when I first arrived here, I never dared to speak of it. And anytime I thought about telling Vallie, I could never get the words out.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you went through all this, and I’m sorry for my part in your suffering,” he whispered, still holding my face in his strong hands. I felt the tip of his thumb brush against my lower lips, our breaths intertwining as one.
I felt free for the first time without having to be alone. Free to share my true self with someone. Free to have someone know everything about me and not run. To have someone I could trust with my secrets and not have to shoulder my burdens alone. So I smiled at Sie as I leaned into him. I swore I heard his breath hitch as he stopped breathing. He went wholly still as I pressed my lips against his.
THIRTY-EIGHT
SIE
Holy shit.Scottie was fucking kissing me. I wasn’t expecting her to. I wasn’t expecting her to even talk to me again or forgive me after hearing her story and how much she’d suffered. How alone and afraid she had been her entire life. And how my selfish need to be with her only made things a whole hell of a lot worse.
Her lips were so full and soft against mine as she hesitantly moved them, pressing further into me. I leaned in and tasted the salt from her tears that had escaped down her cheeks while she was talking. I told myself to calm down, to let her lead this. I didn’t want to initiate anything that she would regret later. I didn’t want her to form the bond, only to realize that she didn’t want it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she was tethered to me and hated it. I wanted her to want the bond—to want me.
But fuck.
