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“Who is she?”
“What was she wearing?”
“Is this even allowed?”
“I can’t believe she said no.”
“How rude is she?”
“Our future Queen is a bitch.”
A voice came over the microphone, announcing that the banquet had officially ended and instructed everyone to go home.
That got me moving. Home. I would go home. I would sleep it off, wake up, and then this day would start all over again, the banquet not yet started. I walked back to the van like the dead walking to the grave. Once in the familiar vehicle, I found Vallie with swollen, red-rimmed eyes.
“Vallie, I…” I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to say something. I knew she wanted this. This was Vallie’s dream, not mine.
“Congratulations.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her signature large grin was diminished. “Let’s talk when we get back to our dorm,” she said as she moved to the seat across from me.
We rode the rest of the way in silence. This time, I didn’t glance out the window or notice a single tree. It wouldn’t matter anyway. I would never get to explore the forest or see the world.
I would be dead as soon as Prince Noren was crowned and we were forced to marry.
TWELVE
SCOTLIND
The long rideto LakeWood allowed me time to process the panic of what had just happened. Once we were back in our dorm, I told Vallie everything—about falling on the Prince earlier that night to our conversation before I got called up on stage.
“I still can’t believe you said no, Scottie,” she laughed. The warmth had returned to her smile. “You should have seen the look on Yuri’s face when your name was called, and you saidno.”
I laughed with her as I dodged the pillow she chucked at me. “I would have loved to see that.” I paused, our laughter fading out together. “Vallie, what am I going to do?”
“What do you mean? You are going to marry the hottest, most badass guy in our Kingdom and get to live life as an effing Princess, and then a Queen. I’m so jealous of you. In fact, I think every female in Tennebris is jealous of you.”
“Vallie, I don’t want this—any of it. I don’t want to marry him. I can’t.”
She gave me a puzzling look. Vallie had always accepted that it was my life’s dream to be a guard, but she never knew the real reason why. She never understood why I never took an interest in dating.
No one knew my secret. Not even her, although I’d wanted to tell Vallie countless times. I thought about it over and over again and decided that she would likely react well to it. She wouldn’t hand me over or think I was crazy. She would listen, understand even, but I also knew that telling her would put her in danger. One look into her head from a mind reader and they would mark her a traitor just for knowing my secret and not coming forward with it. I couldn’t do that to her. There had been countless times when I swore to myself that I was going to tell her. I opened my mouth to speak the words, but they never came out. I could never put her in that situation no matter how badly I wanted to confide in her.
“Look, Scottie, I know that you were never interested in guys before, for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, but wow. You know that we don’t get to decide what we want to be in this world. It’s not always fair, but that’s life. I know you worked really hard to get into the King’s Guard and trained your butt off every day, but sometimes your path leads you in a different direction. And you are going to have to deal with it. I kind of don’t want to hear you complain about having to marry the most attractive guy in the Kingdom. Not to mention, the only rank five alive in Tennebris, which means you will go down in history. Our children and our children’s children are going to read about you, study you, learn from you.”
“I know, but—”
Vallie cut me off. “I know it hasn’t always been easy for you, Scottie. I know how people treat you just because you don’t have any abilities. But now you can change that. You can change everything. I know you’ve dreamed of showing the world what a badass female guard could do, but now, just show the world that you are a badass Queen.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her. I knew it was wrong to try to vent to Vallie. She wanted this so badly—to be chosen. And I was sitting here complaining about it. Guilt formed in my chest and embedded itself in every nook and cranny of my heart. I’d let my fear overtake me. Besides, it wouldn’t change the outcome. Even if it felt like a death sentence, I had been chosen, and I would have to marry him whether I liked it or not.
And maybe Vallie had a point. Perhaps being the Queen would give me the power to change what was wrong with our society. Maybe I could make a difference in how females and rank zeroes were treated. I could at least try until I was discovered, however long that may be.
Who was I kidding though? I was pretty sure being a Princess or Queen would grant me no power, no freedom to do as I pleased. I didn’t think they even let the royals dress alone. There were servants for everything, and I would be monitored everywhere I went.
Would I be able to bathe by myself? Would they allow it if I asked? What would the Prince expect of me when we were alone? I knew nothing about that kind of relationship.
WhenI would be found out, I realized, because they would find out and discover my secret. I was a ticking time bomb with the fuse lit.
Vallie drew me from my thoughts as she clapped her hands together. “Come on, Scottie. Let’s go to a party! You promised us a drink, and I think after tonight, we both need one.”
