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“You curse his name? Like… like some kind of god?”
“Jackson Crimson discovered the Well. He was from your time and could hear the whispers of the Well itself. He founded the Order and set the rules about forbidden substances. He did it hoping the Well would bring his Estrella back to him, but also knowing if he protected the environment, he’d honor her values.”
“You keep saying he. He! But is it you? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“I’m not him.” He honestly looked disappointed.
“Why would you lie to me?” she sobbed, gesturing at his face.
His hands enveloped hers. They were bruised warrior’s hands—bloody from jealousy and possessive rage. They were the furthest from what a corporate businessman would have, as were the ropes of muscle and coiled strength in his imposing frame.
“When you left the table,” he said, “Aleksandra said something that made me think. Memories fade, but the heart never forgets.”
She searched his eyes and believed he was as confused as her. She could almost feel his heartache, his longing and fear. “What are you saying?”
“Something isn’t right about the truth.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “I’ve run from relationships because giving my heart away felt wrong. It felt like a betrayal, and it made no sense. When they told me I was next to find my mate, I couldn’t do it. I convinced myself I had to search for other answers and ran. But when I first saw you…” He pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. “For the first time, my heart wasn’t telling me to run.”
“The heart never forgets.” A silent tear trickled down her cheek. “So you are my Jace?”
“I came to the Order hundreds of years after he went missing. The Prime says he’s gone. Maebh says he’s gone. Fae can’t lie.”
Nova’s heart broke into a million pieces. She tried to pull away, but he tugged her back so hard she slammed against his chest.
“He’s gone, but I’m here.”
“I can’t.”
“For the past decade, I’ve been searching.” His chest heaved against hers as he took a ragged breath. “Aleksandra will die soon. This wake is for her. She offered me the chance to have my questions answered, but when I saw you with Storm, all I could think was that I couldn’t lose you. I’ve been so…”
“Stubborn,” she offered, raising her brows.
“Yes, and—”
“Arrogant.”
“Yes, and—”
“Cruel. And worse than a liar. And…” She thought about things, and her heart softened. He had shown her kindness in moments. Like with the horse hugging, or tending to her when sick, or buying her things and rescuing her from a horrible fate. “And I suppose you’ve also been caring, generous, and honest.”
“Honest?”
“You said from the start you didn’t want a mate.”
“I was lying to myself. This is what I’m trying to explain. I ignored what my heart was trying to tell me. No answers from a dying woman are worth that.”
This was all too much. “How can I trust anyone?”
“Trust this.” He rubbed her hand over his rabbiting heart. “I was against being mated because it felt like I betrayed someone for wanting you… but feel it. Feel it beat for you. Nova, you were the answer all along. When I’m with you, I’m no longer searching.”
ChapterTwenty-Five
Nova’s eyes closed. She had nothing left in the tank but exhaustion and raw emotions. She could see he was trying to do something right, but all it did was confuse her more. She shoved the big Guardian away and jogged down the spiral staircase.
“Nova?” Thudding footsteps behind her.
“Go away.”
“No.”
