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“You’re wet for me,” he murmurs.
He sounds surprised, almost awed, as if my desire is a gift he never expected, not the other way around. I squirm, and he bands his arms harder with another lust-filled groan. I shouldn’t be doing this. Butthisfeels so good, so much better than the fever heat.
Here, I am in control. Here, I’m not a slave to my wolfish biology, not afraid of it. Not afraid of him mistreating me, using me, or taking something precious I’m not ready to give.
“You don’t know how many nights I’ve dreamed of this,” Fox whispers hoarsely, gaze dipping between us. Except he can’t see where we join. We’re squashed too tightly.
I remember his bashfulness when I accidentally flashed him in his room.
“A couple of days?”
Hot, reproachful eyes collide with mine.
“Trythousands,” he grinds out, jaw flexing. “Five thousand, nine hundred and eighty-eight, to be exact.”
The tally. “Thisis what you’re counting?”
Chapter
Thirty-Nine
WILLOW
“You promised you wouldn’t laugh,” Fox breathes.
“I’m not. I’m just...” I do the math. “How could it have been that long? I was only a child.”
“I didn’t mean—fuck. It wasn’t your actual...” He releases me and sits back, covering his face again. But this time, he confesses everything in a rush, his voice muffled behind his hands. “We didn’t understand what was happening to our bodies. We weren’t attracted toyouas a child, but the idea of you as our queen. Previously, queens came to us as adults. That’s all we understood. Varen’s visions were always of you like this, an adult, our equal. When the old-world females mated with the Guardians in Elphyne, we started to...banshee’s balls,this is so hard to say.”
“I’m right here, Fox.” I rest my hand on his forearm.
He refuses to drop his hands, takes a deep breath, and clears his throat. “We awoke... desires we never knew existed. We saw things were different between them. We learned how it was meant to be between lovers through watching them and learning. We started hoping... dreaming we could have that too.” He trails off.
I feel bad. What if something bad happened to him while he was with the other queens? “You don’t have to tell me. I get it.”
His hands slide down his face, but he’s not embarrassed. The heat is back, a thousand times more intense than before.
“While we waited for you,” he says, tone deepening, sliding his hands attentively up my thighs. “We wanted to learn how to pleasure you, how to keep you satisfied. One of us had the bright idea to see a courtesan. I was the most eager, so I volunteered while the others watched the lesson from my mind.” His gaze runs a path down my front, lowering to where his shirt barely covers the apex of my thighs. He cants his head as if he’s imagining me there. “It was so arousing to have her react to my tongue that way, and yet, I kept thinking... what if it wasourqueen? What would she taste like? Would she make those little moaning sounds or something else? The idea of your pussy on my lips was so fucking irresistible that I—” He swallows, looks up at me. “I, ah, finished in my pants.”
My cheeks heat.
I don’t have enough experience, personally, but I’ve heard stories. My aunts are very loud sometimes with their girl talk. They gather regularly for what my Aunt Laurel calls cock-tales. It’s weird they named a drink after gossiping about their partner’s penises, but whatever. They all thought it was sexy when their male was so turned on by them they couldn’t contain themselves.
“Um. I think finishing like that is normal. Sometimes. I hear.”
Fox shoots me a wry look. “Once. It happened once. But it was enough for me to realize how special that feeling was. How personal. It was wrong to give it to anyone else, so when I returned home, I forbade the others from experiencing that sensation with anyone else but you. And then I found an hourglass, sat at the kitchen table, and started counting.”
I bite my lower lip. “So you haven’t since... I mean, that’s a lot of...”
“A lot of planning.” Gray eyes darken. “Fantasizing.” He eases off his chair and crowds me, forcing me to lean back on the table. “Thinking of your taste.” He swipes the books from beneath me, clearing the surface. “Imagining all the ways to pleasure you. Coming up with special moves.” He lowers me the rest of the way. “Learning how to make you scream.” He nips my jaw. His voice deepens. “Just say when, little wolf, and I’ll make a meal out of you.”
Warm breath tickles my lips as he waits for permission. No longer bashful, no longer hesitant, he is the picture of control, strong arms locked at my side, hips nestled between my thighs. Unmoving. Barely breathing. Waiting for me to tell him I want this.
I’ve never been so aroused in my life. My skin feels too tight for my body. My nipples are hard peaks. I ache from the brutal press of his erection against my pussy. I’m drenching his pants, but he doesn’t care. He watches my lips like they’re the starting line holding him back. My galloping heart is the ticking clock. A bead of sweat forms on his brow, sliding down his temple.
So many reasons to walk away flood my mind. Someone could walk in. This is crossing a line. Maybe I care. Maybe I don’t. I don’t know everything about them yet, but will I ever? If we do this, what willthismean? But even as the thoughts fire in my mind, my body language is louder. My hips roll into his, chasing friction. I whimper, needing, begging.
But he waits. He stares at my lips.
