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A rayof sun slices across my closed eyes, and I turn away from the window with a groan. I had so many nightmares last night. It feels like I never slept. They were so real. That moldy lilac smell still clings to my memory. I toss my blanket off and slide my legs over the edge of the bed, careful not to wake Tinger.
My breath catches.
The weight of the pendant grows heavy, dragging my neck and shoulders down. Suddenly, I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating. Gasping. He’s dead because of my negligence.
Why can’t you find something useful to do?
Forcing air into my abused lungs, I lurch from the bed. But my stomach rolls like I’m riding on waves. I barely make it to the toilet in my ensuite before retching. Nothing comes out. Feelinghot and sweaty, I rest my cheek on the cool porcelain until the dizziness subsides. I don’t want to get up.
I don’t want to face another day feeling like I don’t belong. Not without Tinger.
For too long, I stare at the walls of my bathroom. Not all homes in Elphyne have aqueducts and plumbing. The bathtub is heated with mana stones. After what happened to Rory, I can’t stand being submerged in water. But right now, I need to feel something other than like a sinking stone. I need to prove I’m not the sum of my fears.
I drag myself to the empty tub and climb in but can’t bring myself to turn on the faucet—another failure. Soon, even the hard walls of the tub feel stifling, so I climb back out. I wash my face in the basin, wincing as my fingers unwittingly hit the small acid scars on my left side. When I lift my gaze to check my reflection in the mirror, I scream.
Chapter
Five
WILLOW
My reflection instills horror in my soul. Then disgust. Then shame.
When you rise on the morrow, your visage will mirror the ugliness lurking within your heart.
The voice from my nightmares was real.
Hardly able to breathe, I touch my face and test all the new ugly places that never existed before. I’m hideous. The scars are bigger, bulging, ropy and twisted. Everything is out of proportion and crooked.
Pounding at my bedroom door makes me jump. The mirror vibrates, and my horrible visage blurs like a disturbed reflection in a pond.
“Willow?”My father’s voice booms from the other side. The doorknob rattles.
“Don’t come in!” I shriek. “I’m naked!”
I’m ugly.
“Oh.” His tone muffles. He probably cursed under his breath.Not another drama from Willow, I’m sure he’s thinking. “I thought I heard a scream.”
“I’m fine.” My forced, cheerful tone makes me wince. A tiny shadow darts across the floor and disappears beneath my bed, giving me the perfect excuse. “It was just a spider.”
“You want me to kill it?”
“I can kill my own bugs,” I snap back, irritated despite my situation.
A stretch of silence follows. I sense him standing there but can’t move my feet to find clothes. I can’t let him see me like this.
“I know you can, Squirt.” His deep voice is softer. “You were always better at that than me.”
When I finally dare to walk to the door, he’s gone. I lean back against the smooth surface and sink to the floor, my head in my hands. Is this misery my destiny? I was conceived when my father was cursed. Maybe I still am.
My tired gaze lands on a smooth green stone on the floor beside my bed. I keep returning to it. I’m drawn to it. Why?
The dream queen’s crown had the stone set amongst others. Earlier in the dream, I’d danced on cobblestones made from something similar. Itwasa dream... wasn’t it?
I gingerly touch my face, hopefully testing to see if my eyes deceived me, but when my fingertips graze over the old, fine scars on my left side, I find them thicker, knotty, and bulging. The shape of my face feels lopsided and warped.
The dream was real.
