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“Do you have any intentions on changing that last part?”
I fidget in my chair, and Blake clears his throat. “We haven’t spoken about it explicitly.”
I’m taken aback for a second. He could have just saidno.
“May I ask why not?”
This time he looks directly at me as he replies, “I don’t actually know.”
Okay, what the heck is that supposed to mean?
“But you’retogether?” Father ventures.
“Our relationship is … unconventional,” Blake explains while he continues staring at me. “We’ve known each other all of our lives, and one night things got physical, obviously. But we agreed that being good parents was more important than acting on that attraction again, so we started back at square one. We’ve been working on a friendship and sort of … lightly courting since then.”
Courting?
Is that what Blake thinks he’s doing when he makes me like him so hard that I second guess my ability to function as a reasonable adult? When kissing him makes me forget my middle name until the next time he calls me “Agnes” again?
“Mm-hmm, and where do you see this going?” the priest continues, despite the way my face must look right now.
Blake shrugs. “I suspect we both want more, but we can’t seem to get on the same page. I think she’s too afraid to jeopardize our friendship for the sake of our kids, and I’m just trying to respect her wishes.”
Whoa.
Why is he just saying all of this now?
Or maybe … is this the stuff he’s been trying to tell me when I’ve been “ripping out his heart”?
“I see. What do you think, Loren? You’ve been awfully quiet.”
I nearly choke on my spit. “I, um … I guess I would agree with most of that.”
“So, you’re okay with remaining friends with Blake indefinitely? Living separately, splitting time with your kids, pursuing other relationships?”
“We’re not exactly living separately,” I admit meekly. “Blake invited me to move into one of his guest bedrooms after I developed a medical condition. At least while I’m on bed rest.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. So you’re roommates?”
“We’re not having sex, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Blake volunteers after a second.
Father’s lips twitch, as if he’s trying to hold back a smile. “But you’d like to be?”
“I guess it depends on which of us you ask on any given day,” Blake retorts.
Holy shit, he’s totally throwing me under the bus in front of the priest! Well, if he’s airing out his true feelings, I’m allowed to be brutally honest too, right?
“Blake has been very attentive and taken great care of me throughout the pregnancy,” I blurt out. “But it’s hard to differentiate between his fondness for me as a co-parent and any romantic feelings he might be harboring.”
He licks his lips and looks away. “Yeah. Same here.”
“And you don’t think those feelings could coincide or even overlap?” I had no idea we’d be walking into relationship counseling when we started this, but Father looks pretty invested now.
“I guess it’s possible, but I can’t figure out what he’s thinking most of the time,” I reply.
Blake scoffs, to my surprise. “Is it really that hard for you, Lo?”
“What?”
