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Tenley bites her lip and tries to hide her excitement as Mrs. T glances back and forth between us. “Is this some kind of code talk for stuff you think I’m too old to know about?”
“Sorry to disappoint you, Ma, but we’re only talking about feelings. Loren’s still on pelvic rest.”
Mrs. T shoots me a sympathetic look, and we all laugh again.
“And it’s probably for the best, to be honest. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to navigate a new relationship while simultaneously juggling all of these ridiculously gross pregnancy symptoms?” I offer.
“I hate to sound insensitive, but it’s probably inconvenient for a reason. And to answer your original question, yes, I do, even though I’m lucky enough to have a better understanding of what to expect than most first-time moms and a husband who’s literally stuck with me. I imagine it’s been even harder for you.” Tenley lifts her mug in my honor, and I feel slightly better.
“You’re right, Ten. But your husband is also notoriously gassy and would, therefore, not be as shocked by surprise pregnancy toots,” I reply dryly.
Tenley scoffs. “That’s exactly why I can’t ever fart in front of him. Don’t you realize he’d never let me live it down? He’d be beside himself if I let one rip, especially if it was an accident.”
I giggle. “You’re right, he would enjoy that way too much.”
“He and Ethan would totally gang up on me, like they always do,” she adds, rolling her eyes. But I can see the fondness behind her gripe. “Although, it was actually kind of sweet when JD cheered me up with his Billy Madison impression after I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time last week. We ended up having an Adam Sandler movie marathon so Ethan could get the ‘you’re not cool unless you pee ya pants’ reference.”
I cringe at the reminder. “We’ve had one of those moments too. Nothing says ‘new level in the relationship’ like sneezing and having to barge in to use the toilet while your boyfriend’s still in the shower, right? We’ve skipped right over most of the normal stages of development and gone straight into peeing in front of one another.”
“You both know men are wired differently. I’d be willing to bet that stuff is bothering you more than it bothers them,” Mrs. T volunteers with a laugh. “They’re probably just excited to catch a glimpse of you, even if it’s because you have to change your pee-soaked pants.”
Tenley sighs. “According to JD, she’s not wrong.”
“Well then, I’ve got an even better story for you. Blake has since returned the favor by accidentally interrupting me during a very unsuccessful waxing attempt.”
Mrs. T fakes a serious nod while Tenley bites her lip and stifles her laughter.
My face heats up as I relive the moment. “I can’t exactly see what’s going on down there, and I thought I’d try to clean things up, since I figure I’ll have to start getting checks pretty soon.”
Tenley shrugs, still struggling to hold it in.
“But it wasn’t going smoothly to begin with when he barged into the bathroom, making me flinch and get wax everywhere. Which meant I eventually had to get that wax off, if you know what I mean. Let’s just say it was equally traumatizing for both of us.”
Tenley finally snorts loudly and laughs until she tears up, Mrs. T and I joining in after a while. “Though I appreciate the gesture,” she begins breathlessly, “it’s not necessary. We’ve pretty much seen it all.”
I sigh. “It’s too late now, though. My downstairs is all patchy.”
“Why didn’t you just ask him for help, you know, since he was already in the room?” Mrs. T asks as she brings her mug up. “It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before.”
“We, uh, well … he did offer, but …” I glance at Tenley for backup.
“He didn’t get much of an opportunity to map out the terrain before he got banned,” she explains for me.
“Oh.” Mrs. T’s brow lifts. “Still, he’s probably got enough experience to know his way around, in general,” she mumbles, and I frown. It seems like no matter what he does right, Blake can’t seem to escape his old reputation.
But then I realize that I’m upset for a good reason this time, because Blake really has managed to change, and I don’t feel the need to wonder whether I measure up to the women he’s been with in the past anymore.
Tenley notices my reaction and glares at her mom, and Mrs. T offers a quiet apology.
I shrug. “You’re not wrong. I’m just choosing to see his dating history as practice now.”
“Preseason games don’t actually count, anyway,” Tenley says with a smirk, just as my phone chimes, and I groan out loud when I see Landry’s name on the screen.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Mrs. T asks.
“Landry’s been driving me bananas lately. He’s fallen back into his old overbearing habits once he found out about the problems with my pregnancy,” I explain with a sigh. “He texts or calls at least once per day, and he’s even been talking about moving back home to be closer to the girls.”
“Give your brother a break, Loren. He loves you more than you know,” Mrs. T replies.
