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JD follows, laughing loudly as he comes around the side with his own shotgun. “The thing is, your aunt has what I like to callhigh quality H20,” he says, morphing into aWaterboyimpression by the end of it.
“Ugh,” Ethan groans.
“Come on, Bobby Boucher,” I call out as they approach. I offer a small pot of camouflage makeup, and they both dip their fingers and spread it over their faces. “What are you torturing the kid this early in the morning for, anyway?”
“He won’t stop bragging about getting Tenley pregnant,” Ethan retorts, pointing to the creepy Joker grin JD’s sporting through the face paint. “We get it, bruh. It’s not, like, this huge accomplishment you need to share with everyone we run into at the grocery store or the gas station.”
I’m glad my own cheeks are covered by camo paint when Ethan so kindly reminds me of my current situation.
I’m still not sure how to feel after finding out I’m going to be a father. I think it’s going to take some time for it to really sink in, but I’ve been doing my best to hold it together for Loren. Keeping it a secret from JD has been the hardest part so far, especially with everyone congratulating him and complimenting his baby-making skills. Even though I’m excited and happy for him, I’m already a little bitter about accomplishing the same feat and having to stand by while he gets to soak up all the praise just because he’s married.
“Give ‘em a break, E,” I begin, hoping to redirect the conversation before I accidentally incriminate myself. “The man’s had to jump through more than a few hoops to get that?—”
“—marriage certificate!” JD yells loudly in an attempt to drown me out. “He was going to say ‘marriage certificate.’”
I guffaw loudly, and Ethan turns to JD with his eyebrow cocked, a reminder that he isn’t that naive.
“All right, enough beating around the bush. We’re all men here, and I thought you guys had one of those open-dialogue relationships?”
“We do,” JD says with a sigh. “At least, I hope we do.” Then he nudges Ethan, whose expression softens. “Part of the reason I’ve been bragging so much is to teach him that sex isn’t inherently wrong or dirty. It’s an important part of a relationship, but it’s also not something to be taken lightly. And it’s my job to prove to him that waiting for the right person and a marriage certificate makes it that much more amazing and fulfilling, despite what the rest of the world will tell him.”
Then JD reaches out and rests a hand on Ethan’s shoulder before he continues. “Even though your grandparents did a great job raising you, you know what it’s like to grow up without your biological parents. I want you to think about what kind of life you might be giving your own kids one day before you go on and make some. It only takes one time.”
I swallow the lump of guilt lodged in my throat, and Ethan nods, staring thoughtfully into the distance.
“Oh, so it was just the one time, then?” he asks, turning back to JD with a grin.
JD narrows his eyes. “You sure you want me to answer that?”
I snort out a laugh, and Ethan turns to glare at me. “You’re supposed to be helping, bruh. Whose side are you on here?”
“Sorry, Big E. I figured I’d let him have his moment, since he had to wait so long to trade in that marriage certificate for one measly ride at the fair. I bet it was over faster than he hoped, too. Did Tenley even get a chance to get buckled in before it finished?”
I may be projecting a little here.
Ethan stifles a laugh while my brother grunts and shoots me a dangerous glare. “You always have to take it too far, don’t you?” Then JD turns to Ethan and hitches his thumb in my direction. “When I mentioned ignoring the rest of the world’s take on things, he’s who I meant.”
I can’t help the frown that takes over my features. He’s right, though. I’ve always been the douchey foil to my brother’s wholesome role model. Maybe he needs a reminder that people only think he’s so perfect because I’m so terrible in comparison. Lucky for him, my latest screw-up will undoubtedly reinforce his Golden Boy status.
“But that’s only because he hasn’t found the right person yet,” JD continues. “Sooner or later, he’ll realize all that sleeping around has left him feeling empty, and he’ll end up falling so hard for some poor, unsuspecting woman that he’ll trample his own ego on the way to the altar. By the way, you still dating the same girl you were last week? If so, that’s a new record. It’s probably time to bring her around to meet the family.”
Ethan turns his widened eyes to me, gauging my reaction, and JD sniffs before he aims a cocky smirk my way.
“You know I have a loaded gun in my hands, right?” I reply dryly, staring him down, even though my chest still feels tight.
JD puckers his lips and mimes a kiss at me, and I have to blink back the red that flashes in front of my eyes. “Eh, you love me. Besides, you don’t have the heart to fake a hunting accident, bro.”
I turn to Ethan. “Did I really fight to get you back from Ryan, only to hand you over to this clown?”
And then I remember that the kid misses nothing, and he lifts his chin, glaring haughtily. “Yeah, but now that you have a girlfriend, I’m glad I get to hang around and watch you turn into this guy,” Ethan declares, nodding his head toward JD. I gulp as he continues, silently pleading with him. “What, no argument? I think you’re already losing your rizz, Coach Blake.”
I run my tongue over my teeth. “A few weeks doesn’t mean anything. And there’s no way I’d ever let myself go, not like he has.”
“I’ll have you both know that my wife loves me just the way I am. The only complaints I’ve gotten so far are related to forgetting to put the toilet seat down at night,” JD replies, just as my phone vibrates in my pocket.
I pull it out to check the message, pressing my lips together to avoid the smile that threatens to overtake my face as soon as I see Loren’s name on the screen. I ignore the way my stomach flutters when I read her suggestion that I accompany her to a faculty party this weekend.
Loren R
