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“Thanks, I guess,” I reply awkwardly.
“I’ll try to be better about that,” he promises. “As long as you acknowledge me when I say this: Blake, I know you’ll make a great dad one day, and Tenley and I wouldn’t ask you to be our kid’s godfather if we didn’t trust you and wholeheartedly believe you’d be a good influence.”
I nod thoughtfully, still unable to look him in the eyes. Since finding out Loren was pregnant, it hasn’t been easy to ignore my insecurities or convince myself I’m worthy of fatherhood, especially when Loren seems so surprised to have my support. I’ve been relying on my competitive nature for the motivation to prove I’m capable of doing this well.
But now, just hearing my brother say he believes I’d make a decent father is enough to crack open that chest of self-doubt I’ve tried to keep locked away. It’s encouraging at the same time.
“So, you don’t think I’m a shitty person?” I ask quietly.
He scoffs. “Blake, I don’t know anyone who thinks that about you. Hell, even Loren seems to like you now,” he says with a smirk.
“Yeah,” I agree halfheartedly. “I guess she does.”
“You’ll do it, then?” His expression is hopeful.
“Of course, man.”
“Thank you,ParrainBlake.” He reaches over to bump his knuckles against my shoulder as I continue driving. “Mom would be really proud, you know. Then again, she’d already be bragging about how great you are at your job and the way you volunteer so much of your time and energy to support Ethan and all these other kids on the field and in court.”
I clear my throat again. “I’m sure she’d be more excited about you getting married and having a kid, though.”
“Well, yeah, she would be thrilled. But it’s not a contest, and she’d be just as happy to see you and Loren together, don’t you think?” he fishes as I turn into his driveway.
“Is that your attempt at transitioning back to Loren and me?”
He grins. “Maybe.”
And then I’m overcome with guilt, what with the way my brother’s looking at me and the idea that my mom might be somehow listening to our conversation. I also realize I’m doing that thing with my lips that tips JD off when I’m lying or hiding something from him.
“Are you going to tell me what happened or not?” he prompts me again.
“JD, I …” I cringe, then I curse under my breath as I rub my hand over my face. “Loren’s pregnant.”
I had no idea how relieved I’d feel once I got that secret off my chest, but it’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I let out the breath I’ve been holding for the past month or so. I know I’ve broken my promise to Loren, but I’m hopeful she’ll forgive me since we’re headed to the doctor later today and will be presumably ready to share the news with her family soon.
Meanwhile, JD’s still staring at me with his mouth hanging open. “Whoa,” he remarks after a while.
“Yeah. No one’s supposed to know yet.”
“Well … congratulations?”
“Thanks.”
“I mean, a baby is pretty cool, even if it’s unexpected, right?” He shrugs and forces a smile.
“Sure.”
“And we’ve already established that Loren’s awesome.”
“Right,” I reply. Why do I sound so breathless?
“How’s she doing? Has she been feeling okay?” he asks, genuinely concerned, and I want to groan because my brother’s such a good person that even a surprise pregnancy doesn’t warrant a negative reaction from him. “Is she good with everything?”
I sigh. “She’s great. She hasn’t even been as sick as Tenley.”
His smile grows wider, and he nudges me in the shoulder. “You know, I suspected something was up when she barfed in class for the second time this month. I’m really glad it’s a baby and not salmonella poisoning.” I laugh as he continues. “Wow, so you’re really having a baby … with Loren Reed. I’ll be honest, I did not have that on my bingo card.”
“Yeah, neither did I.”
