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I was supposed to meet Sean, but I knew that wasn’t happening when Ax wouldn’t even let Nora hold him without screaming. So here I am, still in my pjs at one in the afternoon, hurrying to shove dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, and get a load of laundry started before he wakes up again.
Every part of me wants to crawl into bed, but I know if I do that now, I’ll never sleep tonight. I want to be working on the song that’s started to come to life with Gem’s exclusive wisdom about letting fear rule my life, but I’m not going to risk waking Ax up.
I give Snipe a long scratch behind the ear and drop a large scoop of food into his bowl as I leave the laundry room. Moving from one side of the main area to the other and back like a robot vacuum, I collect things as I go, ending up with a full load ofmisplaced things that need to go back to where they belong. For a single woman and a baby, we live like pigs.
I need to call Sean and get the remaining details of our event sorted out, but I need a minute to chill out. Once this event is over, it will be a relief. Then, we can both move on with our lives.
When he showed up at the hospital the other day, I was surprised to see him. The man I sat in the elevator with for two hours wouldn’t have taken the time out of his precious schedule to do that. But the guy standing in the doorway of the common room filled with kids wasn’t the same man. I watched him get down on the floor with the kids, smiling and laughing. It was nice to see him relaxed and having fun.
Sean is like a flower, unfolding bit by bit, but he’s still a mystery. The way he hugged me in the conference room at the Tigers practice facility tells me his emotions run deep. I know there are deep wounds and scars, but he covers them well.
It’s a funny thing. The more I learn about him, the more I wonder if he and I are really all that different. We’re two people from completely different worlds but have wounds that bleed the same.
Just as I finish straightening, ready to make myself a cup of tea and warm myself in the ray of sunlight flooding the room, I hear tires on gravel.
My heart rate spikes at the possibility of it being my mother. I’ve been ignoring her calls, but I cannot handle a round with her today. I’ll tap out at two seconds. I know it’s not Nora, and Gem had plans this afternoon, so I’m praying someone made a wrong turn.
I peer out the window, expecting to see my mother and wondering if I can pretend I’m not home. I frown. Instead, I see a large black truck pull to a stop, and then…What. In. The...
I stand unmoving and watch Sean get out of his truck. He looks around as I wonder what in the hell he is doing here–at myhouse. Then, I look down, taking note of what I’m wearing. One of Josh’s old Army t-shirts that’s lost the hem around the neck and now hangs off my shoulder, pajama shorts, and purple knee-high socks with unicorns that Nora gave me for my birthday.
I push at my curls bound on top of my head. Seriously, someone should post a picture of this to set the world straight about the idea of Sean and me.
I cringe, trying to figure out what in the world I’m going to do. On the one hand, I could hide. On the other hand, Snipe will go ballistic at a strange male knocking on my door.
And time’s up. Snipe growls at the sound of Sean approaching, and I shush him, hoping he doesn’t bark and wake Ax. I really need Ax to sleep, so deciding to go with the ‘who gives a shit’ attitude and deal with it, I open the door as Sean climbs the steps.
His eyes grow wide with surprise, and he steps back as Snipe darts between us, barking in warning.
“Sniper,” I whisper yell. “Calm. Down.” I gesture, and he plops down but stays between Sean and me, his teeth bared as he growls.
Sean’s wide gaze flicks between my dog and me and back again.
“Snipe,” I say again in a calming tone. “Easy.” He reluctantly eases himself to the porch floor but doesn’t give Sean any space to approach.
Sean remains perfectly still, but his eyes roam over me quickly before meeting mine. I cross my arms and lean against the door. “What are you doing here?”
“Nice outfit,” he says, but there’s no feeling in it.
He looks…terrible. His short hair is mussed to one side, his eyes are red, and it’s the first time I’ve seen him scruffy. His short whiskers are only a shade lighter than his blond hair, sothey are barely there, but I see them. He’s got on a hoodie and gym shorts, and that stoney look from the elevator has returned.
“Are you here as the fashion police or to tell me our affair is over?”
He ignores my flippant question as he glances around in all directions. “Can I come in? I…when I left home, I drove around to make sure no one followed me, but they're good at what they do.”
I stare at him for a second, thinking about Ax. Letting Sean in is allowing him into a part of my life that’s private, off limits, and I want it to remain that way. Axel is everything in the world to me. I know he didn’t start this, but I want the negativity and the stories to stay far away from my baby.
“What are you doing here?” I ask again, noticing the cup of tea in his hand.Well, crap. Can I send him away if he did something sweet?
“I brought you this.” He holds out the to-go cup, and the cool breeze catches the tea tag. “I thought maybe you were sick.” His eyes roam over me again, and I feel very exposed. Now, I need him to go away.
“Thank you, but this really isn’t a good time. I know you’re busy, but…maybe we can meet up tomorrow, or I can call you later.”
A little crease appears between his eyebrows, and then his blue eyes seem to take on some kind of understanding.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…you were busy.”
It’s my turn to frown.What is he talking about? Oh. Oooohhhhh. He thinks I have someone here. Well, I do, but definitely not in the way he’s thinking.Bugger.Now, I have to decide if I’m going to let him in or just let him think I’m hooking up with someone for real…although it wouldn’t really be for real.
