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“Ms. Parks,” he says, and she spins toward him. “Ed McNeil.” He holds out his hand. “I’m glad I made it down to welcome you. I understand you were trapped a bit earlier. My apologies.”
She smiles. “Yes, sir. It all worked out fine.”
Ed turns to me. “Well, you could’ve had worse company. Sean’s a good guy. Good luck today.” He slaps my shoulder with a grin.
“Thanks,” I say as his attention returns to...Ms. Parks.
“You were my vote for the competition, and after what your husband said on the tape, I’m even more honored to meet your acquaintance.”
Husband? I didn’t notice a ring, but that doesn’t mean anything. My gaze unconsciously turns to her hand.
“I’m so very sorry for your loss,” Ed continues. “Your husband's dedication and service will be honored and remembered here tonight.”
A smile touches her lips, but not the same one as when she gave me endless doses of shit.
“Thank you, sir,” she says quietly. “He would have loved every second of this. He was a huge fan.”
Her comment about singing for only one person suddenly makes sense, and I feel like a giant ass.
“Please join us in the owner's box when you finish up here. My wife would love to meet you, and I understand afterward you’re treating some kids and their families to a performance while these tough guys sign autographs.”
Her eyes grow wide, but she recovers. “Yes. It’ll be a pleasure.”
“Ok, then,” Ed says. “Go knock our socks off, and I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Yes, sir,” she says, turning away and taking a deep breath. She takes another sip of her drink and walks towards the opening.
I play football in front of thousands of people week after week, but I can’t imagine getting up on a stage and singing for these people, knowing the whole time that my husband, who organized this, isn’t here because…
The cheering starts, and we’re on the move, jogging out of the tunnel. I look back as I pass her, but her attention is elsewhere. We line up on the sideline as the fans scream and yell, but I’m having a hard time hearing them over the noise in my head.
I often feel misunderstood, especially lately, and here I judged this woman based on her casual look and unrelenting sass. However, I’m not sure she was teasing when she was calling me out.
I step in line with my team as she’s escorted to the small platform. I can’t help but think that if she can do this and move forward in life after losing her husband, then there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to figure out why I feel so removed from mine.
Chapter 3
ANDIE
I grip the mic tightly as I step up on the platform and turn to face center. The lights are blinding. I suck in air, knowing I need to drown out the noise and get in my head.
I can do this.
I’ve sung theNational Anthema thousand times before, and maybe it was only to myself, but I made it. I can do it again because that’s what I’m doing here. I’m singing for myself.
At first, when I agreed to this after Nora’s sneaky butt replied to the email, I was doing this for Josh. But now, maybe she’s right. Maybe this is me singing for the start of something new–the beginning of life without Josh.
It’s not goodbye. I’ll never be able to say goodbye to him. The time we had together, even when we were apart, I’ll cherish forever. He’ll always have a piece of my heart, but if I don’t start attending to what’s left, I’m worried it’s going to shrivel up and die from keeping it closed off and on hold for something that will never be again.
Sean, AKA football’s smuggest ass, said something about the possibility of so much more waiting for me, and it’s stuck with me all afternoon. I can’t miss out on living life because I’m waiting for someone who’s never coming back. Josh wouldn’t want that.
So, I guess I am doing this for me, mostly. The other part is for Josh because his shenanigans got me into this in the first place.
I look out at the crowd, trying to see, but all I can make out is the fifty feet in front of me where the home team is lined up.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and remove your hats for the singing of our National Anthem. Tonight, we’re honored to have a very special guest, singer and songwriter Andie Parks. She’s the winner of our Show Us What You’ve Got competition where her husband secretly submitted a recording on her behalf.”
The jumbo screen flicks to Josh’s face. My mouth goes dry, and a raw burn climbs up my throat. He’s wearing his BDUs and a smile, and he’s as handsome as ever. The sound of his voice makes my stomach squeeze. I’ve missed it so much.
