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He slaps my shoulder. “You and Andie are on everyone’s radar.”
“She stays out of this,” I demand.
“Understood. Doug understands that, too. I made that very clear.”
“You and I both know I have little say in this.” I rub my neck. “I won’t fight to stay with an organization that’s done with me. I want a cohesive team with loyal management. Maybe see if you can find out what’s going on with these teams and see who’s a real candidate.” I let out a breath while my stomach pitches upward with all the uncertainty. It’s like living on borrowed time.
Rob steps away. “I’ll be in touch. If we can get ahead of this, we may even have some bartering power.” He shakes my hand. “Sit tight. Try not to stress about this. You’ve got a lot to offer, and the Tigers know what they might be giving up.”
In the weight room, I try to release my anxiety and prepare for tomorrow’s game. My focus is shot, and I need to get it back. There’s nothing worse than stepping out onto the field when my head isn’t in the right place. It’s careless and dangerous.
At home, I dial Mark and Shane, needing their encouragement and advice. Sitting around doing nothing,waiting for the gavel to drop, is a massive distraction I can’t afford.
I scroll through the list Rob sent me with teams showing interest. “I just sent it to you,” I tell them.
“What are your thoughts?” Shane asks.
“I don’t know. Miami sounds interesting. Cole is there, but their offense is struggling. I’m not sure I have years of rebuilding left in me.”
“Houston is a mess. I’d steer clear of that if you can help it,” Mark says quickly. “But Arizona’s got a pretty good thing going on, plus I’m a free agent after this season, and Arizona’s on my list. They’re interested, but I’m sure they’ll wait and see how my surgery turns out and if my shoulder heals. It’d be like old times.”
“I’d pay to see you two playing together,” Shane laughs. “If you have time, you should catch up with Cole. He has some work ahead of him and could use some help.”
“What’s happening with Andie? Is she a factor?”
Mark asks the question I’ve tried not to think about. I promised her she wouldn’t be, but how could she not be?
I’ve never met anyone like her or felt the things I feel when I’m with her. I don’t want to screw it up, but moving and spending most of my time away might be exactly what happens. She did that with Josh, and I know she’s not looking to do it again. If a trade goes through, I don’t have a choice.
“She doesn’t want to be a factor in my career decisions. I’m not sure I like that idea, but we all know I won’t have any say in this.” It’s as honest as I can be.
“You’re right. With the trade deadline looming, you’ll likely not have a say or time to sort anything out, but if you do have any sway, you need to be ready. Figure out which of these teams is most likely to get you where you want to be. Do you want achance at the Super Bowl, or do you want to be closer to Andie? Only you can decide that.”
Shane makes it sound so easy. I know he knows it’s not. He gave up an opportunity for a head coach position because he wasn’t willing to leave Maggie and the kids. It’s not the same. Shane and Maggie were married. I don’t even know if Andie wants anything other than us not being friends.
“All you can do is wait and see what happens,” Mark says, sounding sympathetic. “I know it sounds cliché, but if you and Andie are supposed to be, it will work out. She won’t walk away simply because you’re forced to another team. You can’t change this. She’ll understand that.”
I want to believe that’s true, but Mark doesn’t know Andie’s past, all she’s faced, and her desire to protect herself. I can’t give her any more reasons to run from me, or she’ll disappear.
“You can’t let this mess with your head,” Shane’s tone is demanding. “Play the game and keep Andie in the loop. I know it’s not the same, but I didn’t tell Maggie about the interview at Ohio State. That was a mistake.”
“Yes, sir.”
We hang up, and I have to get ready for another phone call. This time, it’s a meeting with one of my sponsors. So far, my potential move to another team hasn’t been an issue. Really, all these guys want to talk about is Andie and me. Some are interested in featuring us together, which is a hell NO.
This trade is coming. I don’t want to go, but I’m not sure I want to stay with the Tigers after what Doug tried to pull with Andie. If I decide to play another couple of years, maybe moving teams now is the way to go. The deadline is approaching. I need to talk to Andie and tell her it’s likely that I’ll be moving within that time.
I’m worried this will be the final thing she uses to push me away, but like Mark said, I can’t change it. If I’m traded, I’ll haveto go. All I can hope is that she’ll understand and not use it as one more reason why we won’t work.
The uncertainty of how she’ll respond has a pit growing in my stomach. It’s a real possibility this will all end before she even gives me a chance. Figuring out how to make this all work seems like an overwhelming challenge, but walking away from Andie completely isn’t even an option I’m willing to consider.
I take a deep breath, resting on my couch. I have to try to do what Rob said. I need to sit tight and let this play out. If I move to a different team, it’ll suck, but I’ve done it before and can do it again. The problem is, this time, there’s a beautiful, stubborn, curly-haired woman I’d really like to make sure doesn’t tell me goodbye in the process.
______
The vice around my chest wall twists a little tighter. Standing in front of my locker, I stretch my arms overhead and to the side, needing it to ease. The idea of putting on my pads with the added pressure and restriction is daunting.
I’ve tried to prepare for what’s waiting for me on the field, but my thoughts are scrambled and messy. I couldn’t stand to listen to my pregame playlist ofHappyon repeat today. The thought of that song is like a fist around my stomach. I rest my head against my hand, trying to pull in air.
